Thursday, December 25, 2008
Monday, December 22, 2008
Thursday, December 11, 2008
Tuesday, September 30, 2008
Somehow
The White Sox made the playoffs. I really don't know how, but hey, I'll roll with it. Johnny Danks pitched a masterpiece, and Bobby Jenks is still pretty damn good too. Oh, and how about Brian "F&*@ing" Anderson? Maybe the play of the game: Junior Griffey making a solid throw and AJ still being able to take a hit? Jim Thome's BOMB? Maybe this team can ride the Thunder through the postseason. Remember last year's NL Champs? The Colorado Rockies? Ya never know.
Oh, and the blackout was pretty damn cool. Way to go Sox fans.
Oh, and the blackout was pretty damn cool. Way to go Sox fans.
Saturday, September 27, 2008
Awesome Bad Song of the Week
Who loves synth-pop? .... Really? No one? Hmmm, maybe I need to start reevaluating my life... However, in the meantime we have ERASURE!!!!!! The reason this band popped into my head was because while listening to the Last Letter Game yesterday, Electra played Wheatus "Teenage Dirtbag." Turns out that's a guy singing that song! So I went onto the interwebs to find out more about the wonderful band Wheatus... and I found out they had a song entitled "A Little Respect." "It can't be," I thought to myself as I searched YouTube for the video. And it was.
Anywho, to make a long story longer, here's the original, lamer version.
Friday, September 26, 2008
The White Sox
Are really bad at baseball. Disgusting. They don't deserve to win the AL Central if they couldn't win ONE dag-gummed game in Minnesota. All around terrible.
However, it wasn't all bad yesterday. There is some hope. And by 'hope,' I mean 'our future is doomed.' And by 'our future is doomed' I really mean 'our present is doomed.'
During the game yesterday, I saw this.
Justin Morneau for President. SOMEHOW the fact that this person wants to vote in a 27 year old professional athlete to the presidency isn't the dumbest thing about this.
Justin Morneau - born May 15, 1981 in New Westminster, British Columbia. Bristish Columbia is in Canada.
Enter Article Two of the United States Constitution. Clause 5: Qualifications for Office:
"No person except a natural born Citizen, or a Citizen of the United States, at the time of the Adoption of this Constitution shall be eligible to the Office of President; neither shall any Person be eligible to that Office who shall not have attained to the Age of thirty-five Years, and been fourteen Years a Resident within the United States."
So in conclusion, Justin Morneau can never be President of the United States. Ever. Way to waste a perfectly good bed sheet you dumb sh!ts.
Alright, so what have we learned today? The White Sox are bad at baseball and Twins fans are really really dumb.
Five months till spring training.
However, it wasn't all bad yesterday. There is some hope. And by 'hope,' I mean 'our future is doomed.' And by 'our future is doomed' I really mean 'our present is doomed.'
During the game yesterday, I saw this.
Justin Morneau for President. SOMEHOW the fact that this person wants to vote in a 27 year old professional athlete to the presidency isn't the dumbest thing about this.
Justin Morneau - born May 15, 1981 in New Westminster, British Columbia. Bristish Columbia is in Canada.
Enter Article Two of the United States Constitution. Clause 5: Qualifications for Office:
"No person except a natural born Citizen, or a Citizen of the United States, at the time of the Adoption of this Constitution shall be eligible to the Office of President; neither shall any Person be eligible to that Office who shall not have attained to the Age of thirty-five Years, and been fourteen Years a Resident within the United States."
So in conclusion, Justin Morneau can never be President of the United States. Ever. Way to waste a perfectly good bed sheet you dumb sh!ts.
Alright, so what have we learned today? The White Sox are bad at baseball and Twins fans are really really dumb.
Five months till spring training.
Monday, September 22, 2008
Sunday, September 21, 2008
State of the Bears: Week 2
Uhhhhggggggggh
I...
Really....
yeah.
Ok, that game sucked, now, understand I fully expected to see that kind of game from the Bears at some point this year, and I fully expect to see more of them, but when you lead 17-3 going into the 4th quarter, you're supposed to win.
Blame whoever you want. In the end, this loss fell squarely on the Bears complete inability to develop an NFL caliber passing game. Bad quarterback, bad wide receivers, bad offensive team.
Until the Bears can consistently throw the ball with some degree of success, they will never win a Super Bowl.
I...
Really....
yeah.
Ok, that game sucked, now, understand I fully expected to see that kind of game from the Bears at some point this year, and I fully expect to see more of them, but when you lead 17-3 going into the 4th quarter, you're supposed to win.
Blame whoever you want. In the end, this loss fell squarely on the Bears complete inability to develop an NFL caliber passing game. Bad quarterback, bad wide receivers, bad offensive team.
Until the Bears can consistently throw the ball with some degree of success, they will never win a Super Bowl.
Friday, September 19, 2008
NFL Quarterbacks and the Politicians they're most similar to
First of all, I have to give credit where it's due, to a very good friend of mine who first compared Matt Cassel to Sarah Palin. It was absolute brilliance and without it, I never would have came up with this blog, so Eric, thank you.
So away we go:
Sarah Palin = Matt Cassel
One could be "just a heartbeat away" from being President, the other turned out to be just a torn ACL and MCL away from being starting quarterback of the New England Patriots. Both are woefully unqualified for their jobs, but garner unfailing support from partisans.
which I suppose means...
John McCain = Tom Brady
I resisted this one at first, but the longer I thought about the two together, the more the parallels stood out. John McCain was widely considered to be one of the best politicians in the country for the longest time, but never got the chance to be president, now that he's got his shot, he's following up the lamest of lame ducks, and facing a democratic buzzsaw. Along the way he's had to change a lot of his stated viewpoints so they fall in line with the less moderate side of the Republican Party.
Tom Brady was long considered a great quarterback, but never had that aura of excellence around him as a passer like Peyton Manning. Manning was the future HOF passer, Manning was Dan Marino, Brady was also a future HOFer, but he was going in as a great game manager like Joe Montana. The year Brady broke out and set every passing record known to man was the year that the Patriots national perception (fairly or unfairly) finished it's transition from "all about the team" to "wait a minute these guys are just a bunch of smug bastards who run up the score."
Charlie Crist = Jeff Garcia
Almost too easy. Both are very clearly FLAMING, but closeted homosexuals, and both have insanely attractive wives (Fiancee in Crist's case.) Both are employed in the state of Florida, and neither are great at their jobs, but both are better than they're usually given credit for. Garcia's still shooting for a job as a full time starter while consistently having the rug pulled out from under his feet, and Crist has to be angling for VP if not a presidential run of his own in 2012 or 2016.
Alan Keyes = Gus Frerotte
If Alan Keyes shows up in an election, that means that your local chapter of the GOP has hit rock bottom, and if there's a rock bottom of NFL quarterbacks who are still at least moderately established, it's Gus Frerotte. Sure you've heard of him, so that's something, and he might actually make some noise for you, but nobody actually WANTS Gus Frerotte quarterbacking their team. Once he's gone, you look back at the days he was around with scorn and embarrassment.
Todd Stroger = Koy Detmer = Luke McCown = Brock Huard
Nepotism. The only reason why Todd Stroger holds his position as Commissioner of the second-most populous county in the United States. I'm pretty sure the only reason why Koy, Luke and Brock ever got a sniff playing quarterback in the NFL is because they had brothers who were NFL quarterbacks. If any of these four jokers show up to quarterback your team or govern your county, you're completely and utterly fucked.
Therefore...
John Stroger = Ty Detmer = Josh McCown = Damon Huard
Here's four more guys that are/were awful at their job, but are/were so much better than their son/younger brothers you look at them far more fondly than you would have had other members of their bloodlines not poisoned your perception of the family name. The only thing that saved the Hasselbecks from these groups is that Matt is (or at least was) a pretty damn good quarterback
Rudi Giullani = Brett Favre
To their faithful: wunderkinds, to everyone else (Democrats, fans of other NFC North teams) really overrated. Even people that like them generally seem to find them annoying because of their larger than life public image. Both have long and storied careers. Both have their own public relations entity, only with Favre it's John Madden who operates on his own accord, where as Rudi, in case you were unaware, was the Mayor of New York during 9/11.
Favre jumped the Packers ship to the Jets in 2008 and became the darling of New York City. Rudi Was the mayor of New York City. During 9/11. Brett Favre just looks like a kid running around out there. Rudi was the mayor of New York City ...during 9/11.
Had Brett made up his mind sooner, he'd still be quarterbacking the Packers. Had Rudi decided to campaign sooner, he'd probably be the Republican nominee for president.
Michael Bloomberg = Aaron Rogers
Both took over under enormous pressure for a bombastic, larger than life, pompous blowhole, and both are succeeding with far more class their their predecessors.
Richard J. Daley = Peyton Manning
Two men who can/could do pretty much anything. Mayors all over the world DREAM of having the power Richard J. Daley held, and quarterbacks everywhere wish they had the talent of Peyton Manning. Neither would be anywhere close to as powerful without their supporting cast. Daley by virtue of the mob, had the Chicago machine. Manning is surrounded by two all pro wide receivers, has had two different all pro running backs, and one of the best offensive lines in the NFL.
On the downside, Daley had the '68 democratic convention. Manning had the divisional playoff game against the Steelers in 2005.
I know it's now painfully obvious, but...
Richard M. Daley = Eli Manning
No matter how hard they try, these two will never, ever, EVER escape the shadow of their more famous relatives. Neither will ever hold the same amount of power. But still, while you'd certainly rather have Richard J's power or Peyton's talent, if you're a mayor or a quarterback, you'll take the successes of either in a heartbeat. Richey will never completely remove the State Government thorn from his side, and Eli will probably always be dogged by the New York fans.
Barack Obama = Jay Cutler
Nobody outside of Illinois knew who Barack Obama was until his speech at the 2004 DNC, and pretty much nobody outside of Vanderbilt knew who Jay Cutler was until he threw for 3000 yards and 21 touchdowns in 2005. Both were drafted by their respective "teams" to be the savior despite their "mile wide but foot deep" track records, and both have a chance to really prove why they were picked this fall.
Between Brandon Marshall and Eddy Royal, Cutler has everything he could ever need to throw the ball. Barack Obama has the largest donor base of any presidential candidate in the history of the country, but Obama is hamstrung by the Democratic party who, historically, is really, really bad at politics. Cutler plays for a team with shaky offensive and defensive lines which are more than capable of sinking an otherwise steady ship.
Obama gave arguably the most important speech of his life when he accepted the Democratic Party's nomination in Denver at Invesco Fieldhouse at Mile High, which happens to be Jay Cutler's home field.
George W. Bush = Kyle Orton
Both are recovering alcoholics who you know are still hitting it pretty hard. Both won a seemingly bogus competition that seems to have been set up for them to win from the very beginning. Neither of them have accomplished anything as a professional, yet despite this, certain segments of the population still really like them. George Bush felt like the right guy for the job for a few weeks after 9/11 and Kyle Orton really seemed like a great option after Rex Grossman went down in the preseason in 2005. Both soon proved their ineffectiveness. Despite all logic, both inexplicably got another chance at the job.
Sorry, I can't help myself:
John Kerry = Rex Grossman
They're both annoying, pampered, they both kinda give off that d-bag vibe at times, they both say the dumbest shit at the most inopportune times, and they probably aren't all that much better than the alternative. Both also fail miserably on the big stage, but deep down, you know it should be their job.
John Edwards = Brian Griese
For some reason they both always seem like a fantastic idea when you're trying find someone to fill the position, but then you go through the vetting process and they just kinda don't make it. Then the end of the day rolls around and you are SO glad you didn't pick them.
Dick Cheney = Drew Brees
What can I say? They're both just way more comfortable with the shotgun.
Ted Kennedy = Tony Romo
Both have accomplished a lot in their professions, but both seem to have inflated public images because of their linage (Quarterback of the Cowboys/Kennedy Family) and the stuff they've done off the field/outside the chamber (the bevy of blonde beauties and the.... bevy of blonde beauties...) Both are maligned by their opposition. Ted had Chappaquiddick, Romo fumbled the snap on that field goal in the playoffs.
So away we go:
Sarah Palin = Matt Cassel
One could be "just a heartbeat away" from being President, the other turned out to be just a torn ACL and MCL away from being starting quarterback of the New England Patriots. Both are woefully unqualified for their jobs, but garner unfailing support from partisans.
which I suppose means...
John McCain = Tom Brady
I resisted this one at first, but the longer I thought about the two together, the more the parallels stood out. John McCain was widely considered to be one of the best politicians in the country for the longest time, but never got the chance to be president, now that he's got his shot, he's following up the lamest of lame ducks, and facing a democratic buzzsaw. Along the way he's had to change a lot of his stated viewpoints so they fall in line with the less moderate side of the Republican Party.
Tom Brady was long considered a great quarterback, but never had that aura of excellence around him as a passer like Peyton Manning. Manning was the future HOF passer, Manning was Dan Marino, Brady was also a future HOFer, but he was going in as a great game manager like Joe Montana. The year Brady broke out and set every passing record known to man was the year that the Patriots national perception (fairly or unfairly) finished it's transition from "all about the team" to "wait a minute these guys are just a bunch of smug bastards who run up the score."
Charlie Crist = Jeff Garcia
Almost too easy. Both are very clearly FLAMING, but closeted homosexuals, and both have insanely attractive wives (Fiancee in Crist's case.) Both are employed in the state of Florida, and neither are great at their jobs, but both are better than they're usually given credit for. Garcia's still shooting for a job as a full time starter while consistently having the rug pulled out from under his feet, and Crist has to be angling for VP if not a presidential run of his own in 2012 or 2016.
Alan Keyes = Gus Frerotte
If Alan Keyes shows up in an election, that means that your local chapter of the GOP has hit rock bottom, and if there's a rock bottom of NFL quarterbacks who are still at least moderately established, it's Gus Frerotte. Sure you've heard of him, so that's something, and he might actually make some noise for you, but nobody actually WANTS Gus Frerotte quarterbacking their team. Once he's gone, you look back at the days he was around with scorn and embarrassment.
Todd Stroger = Koy Detmer = Luke McCown = Brock Huard
Nepotism. The only reason why Todd Stroger holds his position as Commissioner of the second-most populous county in the United States. I'm pretty sure the only reason why Koy, Luke and Brock ever got a sniff playing quarterback in the NFL is because they had brothers who were NFL quarterbacks. If any of these four jokers show up to quarterback your team or govern your county, you're completely and utterly fucked.
Therefore...
John Stroger = Ty Detmer = Josh McCown = Damon Huard
Here's four more guys that are/were awful at their job, but are/were so much better than their son/younger brothers you look at them far more fondly than you would have had other members of their bloodlines not poisoned your perception of the family name. The only thing that saved the Hasselbecks from these groups is that Matt is (or at least was) a pretty damn good quarterback
Rudi Giullani = Brett Favre
To their faithful: wunderkinds, to everyone else (Democrats, fans of other NFC North teams) really overrated. Even people that like them generally seem to find them annoying because of their larger than life public image. Both have long and storied careers. Both have their own public relations entity, only with Favre it's John Madden who operates on his own accord, where as Rudi, in case you were unaware, was the Mayor of New York during 9/11.
Favre jumped the Packers ship to the Jets in 2008 and became the darling of New York City. Rudi Was the mayor of New York City. During 9/11. Brett Favre just looks like a kid running around out there. Rudi was the mayor of New York City ...during 9/11.
Had Brett made up his mind sooner, he'd still be quarterbacking the Packers. Had Rudi decided to campaign sooner, he'd probably be the Republican nominee for president.
Michael Bloomberg = Aaron Rogers
Both took over under enormous pressure for a bombastic, larger than life, pompous blowhole, and both are succeeding with far more class their their predecessors.
Richard J. Daley = Peyton Manning
Two men who can/could do pretty much anything. Mayors all over the world DREAM of having the power Richard J. Daley held, and quarterbacks everywhere wish they had the talent of Peyton Manning. Neither would be anywhere close to as powerful without their supporting cast. Daley by virtue of the mob, had the Chicago machine. Manning is surrounded by two all pro wide receivers, has had two different all pro running backs, and one of the best offensive lines in the NFL.
On the downside, Daley had the '68 democratic convention. Manning had the divisional playoff game against the Steelers in 2005.
I know it's now painfully obvious, but...
Richard M. Daley = Eli Manning
No matter how hard they try, these two will never, ever, EVER escape the shadow of their more famous relatives. Neither will ever hold the same amount of power. But still, while you'd certainly rather have Richard J's power or Peyton's talent, if you're a mayor or a quarterback, you'll take the successes of either in a heartbeat. Richey will never completely remove the State Government thorn from his side, and Eli will probably always be dogged by the New York fans.
Barack Obama = Jay Cutler
Nobody outside of Illinois knew who Barack Obama was until his speech at the 2004 DNC, and pretty much nobody outside of Vanderbilt knew who Jay Cutler was until he threw for 3000 yards and 21 touchdowns in 2005. Both were drafted by their respective "teams" to be the savior despite their "mile wide but foot deep" track records, and both have a chance to really prove why they were picked this fall.
Between Brandon Marshall and Eddy Royal, Cutler has everything he could ever need to throw the ball. Barack Obama has the largest donor base of any presidential candidate in the history of the country, but Obama is hamstrung by the Democratic party who, historically, is really, really bad at politics. Cutler plays for a team with shaky offensive and defensive lines which are more than capable of sinking an otherwise steady ship.
Obama gave arguably the most important speech of his life when he accepted the Democratic Party's nomination in Denver at Invesco Fieldhouse at Mile High, which happens to be Jay Cutler's home field.
George W. Bush = Kyle Orton
Both are recovering alcoholics who you know are still hitting it pretty hard. Both won a seemingly bogus competition that seems to have been set up for them to win from the very beginning. Neither of them have accomplished anything as a professional, yet despite this, certain segments of the population still really like them. George Bush felt like the right guy for the job for a few weeks after 9/11 and Kyle Orton really seemed like a great option after Rex Grossman went down in the preseason in 2005. Both soon proved their ineffectiveness. Despite all logic, both inexplicably got another chance at the job.
Sorry, I can't help myself:
John Kerry = Rex Grossman
They're both annoying, pampered, they both kinda give off that d-bag vibe at times, they both say the dumbest shit at the most inopportune times, and they probably aren't all that much better than the alternative. Both also fail miserably on the big stage, but deep down, you know it should be their job.
John Edwards = Brian Griese
For some reason they both always seem like a fantastic idea when you're trying find someone to fill the position, but then you go through the vetting process and they just kinda don't make it. Then the end of the day rolls around and you are SO glad you didn't pick them.
Dick Cheney = Drew Brees
What can I say? They're both just way more comfortable with the shotgun.
Ted Kennedy = Tony Romo
Both have accomplished a lot in their professions, but both seem to have inflated public images because of their linage (Quarterback of the Cowboys/Kennedy Family) and the stuff they've done off the field/outside the chamber (the bevy of blonde beauties and the.... bevy of blonde beauties...) Both are maligned by their opposition. Ted had Chappaquiddick, Romo fumbled the snap on that field goal in the playoffs.
Bellwether's NFL musings Week 2 - 3
After two weeks of football, I can't claim to have any answers. There's just too little data to go on. Still, there's some thing's we have learned.
- Things I know for sure:The Rams are the worst team in the NFLThe Packers will be good if Rogers stays healthyThe Bears never have to apologize for reaching for Forte
Jonathan Stewart is good at sports
Jeff Fisher is one of the best coaches in the NFL
The Steelers are always better than you think. Even if you already think they'll be good
The Lions are always worse than you think. Even if you already think they'll be bad - Things I'm pretty sure about:
The Giants are a good football teamThe Pats are still the best team in the NFLThe Denver/San Diego rematch Week 17 will decide the AFC West - Despite several warts, Football Night in America is worth my time to see Olberman and Patrick reunited. That said, the actual Sunday night game is horribly overproduced.
- I'm not going to say that Fox just conjured the "passing levels" thing out of whole cloth, but they put more emphasis on it during yesterday's Bears game than the sum of times it's been mentioned in every other NFL broadcast in 30 years.
- I love the new coin toss rules. It's about time. A lot of teams are going to be deferring.
- Early returns have the AFC North winning it's annual battle against the NFC East in the contest to see which division has the most mind numblingly booring games.
- After all these years of transitioning from a legitimate media outlet into a marketing firm, there's been ONE segment on ESPN "programming" that I still liked, and now they've fucked that up too. SportsCenter's "Pump Up The Volume" is football highlights with local radio calls underneath. Now, about a third of the highlights have press conference or post game interview audio under them. On the horribly rare chance any of these meatheads say anything relevant, I guarentee it's important enough to play at another point in the show.
*SIGH* I hate ESPN. - Philly/Dallas did not disappoint. Any time the NFL wants to have an 75 point game, I'm there. We got one with San Diego/Denver too, and even though the Chargers got completely HOSED I picked the Broncos, so it all worked out.
- I believe New Orleans will beat Denver, Arizona will beat Washington, Cleveland will beat Baltimore, and Chicago will beat Tampa Bay.
Monday, September 15, 2008
Fellow Cubs (and baseball) fans:
We get to debate it in bars for the rest of our lives
Better performance:
9.0 IP, 1 H, 0 R, 20 K, 1 BB, 1 HBP 30 batters faced
Vs
9.0 IP, 0 H, 0 R, 10 K, 1 BB, 1 HBP 29 batters faced
What an amazing night for Zambrano.
Better performance:
9.0 IP, 1 H, 0 R, 20 K, 1 BB, 1 HBP 30 batters faced
Vs
9.0 IP, 0 H, 0 R, 10 K, 1 BB, 1 HBP 29 batters faced
What an amazing night for Zambrano.
Friday, September 12, 2008
Bellwether's NFL Musings Week 1 - 2
- Billy McMullen, Samie Parker, Courtney Taylor, and Logan Payne.
Everyone who's heard of one of those guys, raise your hand
Now, now, keep em up so I can count...
nobody?
Yeah, me either. Those are the four active Wide Receivers on the Seattle Seahawks' roster.
Perhaps I'm basing my opinion on familiarity, but I'd take any 4 of the Bears 6 receivers over those 4 schlubs any day of the week. Arizona's going to win the NFC West.
- It's funny to me that Vince Young has realized what many in the national media still fail to, that he's bad at football.
- If you're New England, don't you have to feel like Hubris has come to bite you in the ass? I'm not one who actively roots against the Pats, I actually kinda like Bill Bellechek and his whole "cold, heartless, arrogant, bastard" personality. I still think they're one of, if not the best team in football, but Matt Cassel? Really? That's your backup plan? I understand you can't go out and sign a mulit-million dollar backup, but there are better options than Matt Cassel. Like Chris Simms, who they weren't interested in.
Back when the Favre saga was in the "maybe he'll take 20MM from Green Bay to go away" phase, I told a few people that if I was the Pats, I'd have called him and asked if he'd be interested in being Tom Brady's backup. If Favre had a price to go away, maybe he had a price just to stay off the field. The Patriots would have given him the BEST chance to win another title, and there would have been plenty of opportunity for him to play when they were up 55-7 in the 4th quarter.
Now realize, I don't think Favre ever, ever, ever would have agreed to this, but it would have been worth a phone call. Regardless, I'm sure the Pats can still win the Superbowl with Matt Cassel (seriously) but they could be in a much better position if they'd have signed a known commodity to back up Brady. - I'm so pissed at the Bears for resigning Fred Miller. What the hell, guys? Fred Miller blows. Keep Kirk Barton and go with it. He's a backup tackle. Offensive tackles are so expensive that your #3 is almost certainly going to be bad. It's so much better to be bad and young than bad and old.
- I can't wait for MNF this week. Eagles at Cowboys? Yes sir!
- Kudos to the Falcons. At no point this season did I ever think they'd look as impressive as they did on Sunday. It just goes to show, the more things change, the more they stay the same the Lions still can't win on the road.
- I really enjoyed watching the Giants on Thursday night. They remind me of a late 80s early 90s NFL team... I can't fully qualify this. The Jacobs/Ward combo has a lot to do with it. The last team I remember who succeeded with Thunder/Thunder as their 1/2 combo were the Bettis/Fuamatu-Ma'afala Steeler teams. Again, though completely unqualifiable, this Giants team feels more like it would fit in Tecmo Super Bowl than any other team in the league.
- I think Denver will beat San Diego, San Francisco will beat Seattle, Buffalo will beat Jacksonville and Cincinnati will beat Tennessee.
Thursday, September 11, 2008
State of the Bears: Week 1
Well... nobody saw that coming.
Not only did the Bears go down to Indy, while they were opening their new stadium, and beat them, they flat out kicked the Colts asses for 60 minutes.
The Bears defensive line was dominant. I'm sure the loss of Jeff Saturday had a lot to do with this, but no matter who the Bears rotated out there, they pressured Manning and stopped Addai. The Bears also did a lot of cool stuff strategically. Lots of different looks, lots of fronts, they walked the safeties up, they backed the LBs off, they stunted... they did everything possible to try and throw Manning off his game and I think they succeeded as much as one can against Peyton. This was the first time this Bears defense has been healthy since the San Diego game last season and it showed. It's a lot easier to blitz when you can trust a cornerback to be ok with only one guy over the top.
The most shocking aspect of this performance was the fact that the Bears, honest to goodness, outcoached the Colts. Babbich and Lovie came up with a way to beat that crusty old troll Tom Moore, which is more than most can say.
On the other side of the ball, it's all about Matt Forte, and that's both good and bad. I love this kid, and really, how can you not? Vision, moves, speed, durability. Four things this kid has in droves that have been hard to find in the Bears backfield recently. You can't really fault his performance. The problem is, there's not a whole lot else to be happy about. Yes the tight ends are good, but the quarterback isn't, and I don't believe either TE will be utalized nearly as often as they could or should be because of the guy behind center.
As for the guys on the ends, well... it doesn't get much worse than the 6 they trot out there on a weekly basis (though Seattle is going to give them a run for their money.) The Bears WRs caught a grand total of 6 balls for 50 yards. If I'm John Fox, I put eight in the box on every play against Forte until Orton finds a way to move the ball on his own, and if eight isn't enough to stop him, I'll go with nine. I have zero confidence in the Bears passing game, in any form, until they prove otherwise, which is why I'm still picking the Panthers this weekend.
So all in all... the state of the Bears is a hell of a lot better now than it was just last week. I still don't think this is a playoff team, but I do think we're now trending much closer to 'best case senario' than anyone could have predicted.
Not only did the Bears go down to Indy, while they were opening their new stadium, and beat them, they flat out kicked the Colts asses for 60 minutes.
The Bears defensive line was dominant. I'm sure the loss of Jeff Saturday had a lot to do with this, but no matter who the Bears rotated out there, they pressured Manning and stopped Addai. The Bears also did a lot of cool stuff strategically. Lots of different looks, lots of fronts, they walked the safeties up, they backed the LBs off, they stunted... they did everything possible to try and throw Manning off his game and I think they succeeded as much as one can against Peyton. This was the first time this Bears defense has been healthy since the San Diego game last season and it showed. It's a lot easier to blitz when you can trust a cornerback to be ok with only one guy over the top.
The most shocking aspect of this performance was the fact that the Bears, honest to goodness, outcoached the Colts. Babbich and Lovie came up with a way to beat that crusty old troll Tom Moore, which is more than most can say.
On the other side of the ball, it's all about Matt Forte, and that's both good and bad. I love this kid, and really, how can you not? Vision, moves, speed, durability. Four things this kid has in droves that have been hard to find in the Bears backfield recently. You can't really fault his performance. The problem is, there's not a whole lot else to be happy about. Yes the tight ends are good, but the quarterback isn't, and I don't believe either TE will be utalized nearly as often as they could or should be because of the guy behind center.
As for the guys on the ends, well... it doesn't get much worse than the 6 they trot out there on a weekly basis (though Seattle is going to give them a run for their money.) The Bears WRs caught a grand total of 6 balls for 50 yards. If I'm John Fox, I put eight in the box on every play against Forte until Orton finds a way to move the ball on his own, and if eight isn't enough to stop him, I'll go with nine. I have zero confidence in the Bears passing game, in any form, until they prove otherwise, which is why I'm still picking the Panthers this weekend.
So all in all... the state of the Bears is a hell of a lot better now than it was just last week. I still don't think this is a playoff team, but I do think we're now trending much closer to 'best case senario' than anyone could have predicted.
Sunday, September 7, 2008
Who's Laughing Now?
HUGE UPSET!
29-13 Bears over Indy
First star goes to the defense. D-Line owned the Colts O-Line. Peanut played like...well, Peanut. He's really good at football. Gameplan was solid, kept Peyton on his toes the whole game. Defense needed not only to stop the Colts, but they needed to score too. Gave up 13 points. Scored 9. Check and check.
Second Star --> Matt Forte. Mark one down for Jerry Angelo (don't worry +1 -3, he's still down on the season). 23 carries, 123 yards, 1 TD. Ran downhill the whole game. Made great cuts, has very solid speed. Offensive line actually created big holes for him to run through, and he saw the field well and ran though them.
also, this is hilarious
Saturday, September 6, 2008
Bellwether's 2008 NFL Preview
NFC West
Champions: Arizona Cardinals
The Cardinals seem to be everyone’s breakout darling every single year, this year, I think they actually will. 10 wins will definitely take this division, and I think 9 will do it too. In my opinion, the Seahawks have run out of gas, Maurice Morris is their starting RB, backed up by Julius Jones and TJ Duckett. Hasselbeck is a year older, and their best WR is Nate Burleson. I think their defense is still strong, but I don’t see them finishing any better than 8-8. San Francisco and St. Louis are going to be two of the worst teams in football.
NFC East
Champions: Philadelphia Eagles
Wild Card: Dallas Cowboys
Maybe Wild Card: New York Giants
Call me crazy, but I really believe the Eagles are the best team in the AFC, for once, they’re reasonably healthy, Brian Westbrook might be the second most productive player in football behind LdT. Their defense is one of the most well coached in the NFL, and even though you’re probably not familiar with any of their names outside of Cole and Dawkins, they’re a rock solid core. This combined with Dallas’s current cast of characters which is just begging to implode gives the Eagles an edge in my book. I think Dallas is a good team and I’m sure they make the playoffs, I just think the Eagles are better. The Giants are a very good team as well, but I think they’re yet another step below the Cowboys. They’ll fight with the Bucs for the last playoff spot in the NFC. The Redskins will be lucky to win six games.
NFC North
Champions: Minnesota Vikings
Minnesota has the best defense in the division, the best player (who happens to also be the best running back,) the best offensive line and a much improved receiver corps. Unfortunately they also have the worst quarterback (yes, even worse than Kyle Orton.) The Vikings could win 11 or 12 games if they stay healthy, if they don’t, they might only win 7 or 8. I think 9 or 10 will be enough to win the division. Green Bay is the second best team in the division, but their quarterbacks will decide their fate. If Aaron Rogers is the goods, they’ll push the Vikings. If not, they’re probably a 7 win team. The Lions are better than the Bears, but not by much. Expect both Chicago and Detroit to finish in the 5-7 win range.
NFC South
Champions: New Orleans Saints
Maybe Wild Card: Tampa Bay Buccaneers
I’ve been telling friends that the Bucs are the class of the south for several weeks now, but I’ve had a change of heart over the past few days. Tampa’s got a revolving door at QB, The combined age of their starting WRs is 68, their starting running back is Ernest Graham, and their defense is banged up. The Saints added Jeremy Shocky and Jonathan Vilma. The former gives Drew Brees yet another weapon, and the latter should give the Saints defense the anchor it’s been missing since…. Sam Mills. Carolina could end up in the mix, or they could end up 4-12, and the Falcons are on the clock for the 2009 draft.
AFC West
Champions: San Diego Chargers
I think the Broncos are better, and I think they’ll push the chargers the first half of the year, but in the end, there’s not enough talent on either side of the line of scrimmage for me to take Denver seriously. The Chargers are far and away the best team in the division and still one of the best teams in football. I think both the Chiefs and Raiders are better teams this year, but both of them still draft in the top 10 next year.
AFC East
Champions: New England Patriots
Maybe Wild Card: New York Jets
Watch the Pats go 19-0. They almost did it last year, and you know they still want to. That’d be 37-1 over two seasons, and while I think 13-3 and a Super Bowl appearance is far more likely than another undefeated run, don’t be shocked if they pull off perfection this year. Actually, be shocked, cause it’s still amazing and highly improbable, but probably less so for them than for any other team. As far as the Jets, I’ll admit, I’m buying into the Brett Favre hype. He looked the part in the pre season, and if there’s one thing I’ve learned throughout the years, it’s to never bet against the storybook ending when it comes to #4. Logic doesn’t seem to apply to him. Bills better than the Dolphins, Dolphins still really bad.
AFC North:
Champions: Pittsburgh Steelers
Wild Card: Cleveland Browns
The AFC North and AFC South are the two toughest divisions to pick in all of football, and on balance, they may be the two best. I think the Steelers and Browns have about an equal shot at the division title, and I think both end up going to the playoffs, but history tells me not to bet against the Steelers, who I consider second only to the Boston Red Sox as the best run organization in professional sports. The Steelers never seem to want for talent, they’re constantly reloading and they added two future stars in the draft in Sweed and Mendenhall. Losing Faneca is going to hurt, but when it comes to the Steelers and offensive linemen… the dude abides. It doesn’t really seem to matter what happens to the Steelers, they win 10 or 11 games a year, and that’ll happen again this season. As for the Browns, I don’t think they were a fluke. Derick Anderson probably isn’t as good as his numbers from last year would indicate, but between Braylon Edwards, Kellen Winslow Jr, Jamal Lewis, and that offensive line anchored by Thomas and Steinbach, he doesn’t have to be great on his own, because those guys will do their part to make him look really good. If he falters, the Browns have Brady Quinn waiting in the wings, which might not be the correct answer, but it gives them a nice option. Cincinnati’s probably no worse than a 7 win team, and the Ravens defense is still a force to be reckoned with, despite the fact that their offense is in as bad a shape as ever. A lot of their problems go away if Joe Flacco is good.
AFC South
Champions: Indianapolis Colts
Wild Card Maybe: Jacksonville Jaguars
Wild Card Maybe: Tennessee Titans
Wild Card Maybe: Houston Texans
Yep, I could honestly see any of these teams making the playoffs, but until proven otherwise, nothing will make me bet against the Colts. As long as Peyton is healthy, the Colts have nothing to worry about, and they’ll still find a way to win 12 games. The Jags are the second best team in the division, and they might have the best defense of the four. Questions on offense will continue to dog them, especially when it comes to catching the football, but they’ve made the playoffs with sub par receivers before, there’s no reason they can’t do it again. I still don’t think the Titans are all that good at football, but somehow they continue to surprise me year after year and play much better than everyone’s expectations. I’d like nothing better than to write them off, but their coach is the longest tenured in the NFL for a reason, and that alone prevents me from doing so. I really don’t think the Texans have enough weapons to compete with the other three yet, but strange things happen in the NFL, and the Texans are just one of those teams that kinda sticks out as a possible “team out of nowhere” (despite the fact that they went 8-8 last year, which is hardly nowhere.)
NFC Playoffs
Saints over Giants
Cowboys over Cardinals
Eagles over Cowboys
Saints over Vikings
Eagles over Saints
AFC Playoffs
Steelers over Jaguars
Colts over Jets
Pats over Steelers
Colts over Chargers
Pats over Colts
Super Bowl XXXIX rematch:
Pats over Eagles
Offensive ROY: Jonathan Stewart
Defensive ROY: Jerod Mayo
Offensive Player of the Year/NFL MVP: LaDainian Tomlinson
Defensive player of the Year: Patrick Willis
Most
Pass Yards: Brady
Pass TDs: Romo
Rush Yards: Tomlinson
Rush TDs: Tomlinson
Receiving Yards: Moss
Receiving TDs: Owens
Tackles: Willis
Sacks: Peppers
Champions: Arizona Cardinals
The Cardinals seem to be everyone’s breakout darling every single year, this year, I think they actually will. 10 wins will definitely take this division, and I think 9 will do it too. In my opinion, the Seahawks have run out of gas, Maurice Morris is their starting RB, backed up by Julius Jones and TJ Duckett. Hasselbeck is a year older, and their best WR is Nate Burleson. I think their defense is still strong, but I don’t see them finishing any better than 8-8. San Francisco and St. Louis are going to be two of the worst teams in football.
NFC East
Champions: Philadelphia Eagles
Wild Card: Dallas Cowboys
Maybe Wild Card: New York Giants
Call me crazy, but I really believe the Eagles are the best team in the AFC, for once, they’re reasonably healthy, Brian Westbrook might be the second most productive player in football behind LdT. Their defense is one of the most well coached in the NFL, and even though you’re probably not familiar with any of their names outside of Cole and Dawkins, they’re a rock solid core. This combined with Dallas’s current cast of characters which is just begging to implode gives the Eagles an edge in my book. I think Dallas is a good team and I’m sure they make the playoffs, I just think the Eagles are better. The Giants are a very good team as well, but I think they’re yet another step below the Cowboys. They’ll fight with the Bucs for the last playoff spot in the NFC. The Redskins will be lucky to win six games.
NFC North
Champions: Minnesota Vikings
Minnesota has the best defense in the division, the best player (who happens to also be the best running back,) the best offensive line and a much improved receiver corps. Unfortunately they also have the worst quarterback (yes, even worse than Kyle Orton.) The Vikings could win 11 or 12 games if they stay healthy, if they don’t, they might only win 7 or 8. I think 9 or 10 will be enough to win the division. Green Bay is the second best team in the division, but their quarterbacks will decide their fate. If Aaron Rogers is the goods, they’ll push the Vikings. If not, they’re probably a 7 win team. The Lions are better than the Bears, but not by much. Expect both Chicago and Detroit to finish in the 5-7 win range.
NFC South
Champions: New Orleans Saints
Maybe Wild Card: Tampa Bay Buccaneers
I’ve been telling friends that the Bucs are the class of the south for several weeks now, but I’ve had a change of heart over the past few days. Tampa’s got a revolving door at QB, The combined age of their starting WRs is 68, their starting running back is Ernest Graham, and their defense is banged up. The Saints added Jeremy Shocky and Jonathan Vilma. The former gives Drew Brees yet another weapon, and the latter should give the Saints defense the anchor it’s been missing since…. Sam Mills. Carolina could end up in the mix, or they could end up 4-12, and the Falcons are on the clock for the 2009 draft.
AFC West
Champions: San Diego Chargers
I think the Broncos are better, and I think they’ll push the chargers the first half of the year, but in the end, there’s not enough talent on either side of the line of scrimmage for me to take Denver seriously. The Chargers are far and away the best team in the division and still one of the best teams in football. I think both the Chiefs and Raiders are better teams this year, but both of them still draft in the top 10 next year.
AFC East
Champions: New England Patriots
Maybe Wild Card: New York Jets
Watch the Pats go 19-0. They almost did it last year, and you know they still want to. That’d be 37-1 over two seasons, and while I think 13-3 and a Super Bowl appearance is far more likely than another undefeated run, don’t be shocked if they pull off perfection this year. Actually, be shocked, cause it’s still amazing and highly improbable, but probably less so for them than for any other team. As far as the Jets, I’ll admit, I’m buying into the Brett Favre hype. He looked the part in the pre season, and if there’s one thing I’ve learned throughout the years, it’s to never bet against the storybook ending when it comes to #4. Logic doesn’t seem to apply to him. Bills better than the Dolphins, Dolphins still really bad.
AFC North:
Champions: Pittsburgh Steelers
Wild Card: Cleveland Browns
The AFC North and AFC South are the two toughest divisions to pick in all of football, and on balance, they may be the two best. I think the Steelers and Browns have about an equal shot at the division title, and I think both end up going to the playoffs, but history tells me not to bet against the Steelers, who I consider second only to the Boston Red Sox as the best run organization in professional sports. The Steelers never seem to want for talent, they’re constantly reloading and they added two future stars in the draft in Sweed and Mendenhall. Losing Faneca is going to hurt, but when it comes to the Steelers and offensive linemen… the dude abides. It doesn’t really seem to matter what happens to the Steelers, they win 10 or 11 games a year, and that’ll happen again this season. As for the Browns, I don’t think they were a fluke. Derick Anderson probably isn’t as good as his numbers from last year would indicate, but between Braylon Edwards, Kellen Winslow Jr, Jamal Lewis, and that offensive line anchored by Thomas and Steinbach, he doesn’t have to be great on his own, because those guys will do their part to make him look really good. If he falters, the Browns have Brady Quinn waiting in the wings, which might not be the correct answer, but it gives them a nice option. Cincinnati’s probably no worse than a 7 win team, and the Ravens defense is still a force to be reckoned with, despite the fact that their offense is in as bad a shape as ever. A lot of their problems go away if Joe Flacco is good.
AFC South
Champions: Indianapolis Colts
Wild Card Maybe: Jacksonville Jaguars
Wild Card Maybe: Tennessee Titans
Wild Card Maybe: Houston Texans
Yep, I could honestly see any of these teams making the playoffs, but until proven otherwise, nothing will make me bet against the Colts. As long as Peyton is healthy, the Colts have nothing to worry about, and they’ll still find a way to win 12 games. The Jags are the second best team in the division, and they might have the best defense of the four. Questions on offense will continue to dog them, especially when it comes to catching the football, but they’ve made the playoffs with sub par receivers before, there’s no reason they can’t do it again. I still don’t think the Titans are all that good at football, but somehow they continue to surprise me year after year and play much better than everyone’s expectations. I’d like nothing better than to write them off, but their coach is the longest tenured in the NFL for a reason, and that alone prevents me from doing so. I really don’t think the Texans have enough weapons to compete with the other three yet, but strange things happen in the NFL, and the Texans are just one of those teams that kinda sticks out as a possible “team out of nowhere” (despite the fact that they went 8-8 last year, which is hardly nowhere.)
NFC Playoffs
Saints over Giants
Cowboys over Cardinals
Eagles over Cowboys
Saints over Vikings
Eagles over Saints
AFC Playoffs
Steelers over Jaguars
Colts over Jets
Pats over Steelers
Colts over Chargers
Pats over Colts
Super Bowl XXXIX rematch:
Pats over Eagles
Offensive ROY: Jonathan Stewart
Defensive ROY: Jerod Mayo
Offensive Player of the Year/NFL MVP: LaDainian Tomlinson
Defensive player of the Year: Patrick Willis
Most
Pass Yards: Brady
Pass TDs: Romo
Rush Yards: Tomlinson
Rush TDs: Tomlinson
Receiving Yards: Moss
Receiving TDs: Owens
Tackles: Willis
Sacks: Peppers
Wednesday, September 3, 2008
OH MY GOD!
THAT IS KOYIE HILL'S RIGHT HAND
Last October Koyie Hill cut off his index, middle, ring finger and thumb. Cut them off. As in not attached. As in HE CUT OFF ALL HIS F&@%ING FINGERS EXCEPT HIS F&@%ING PINKY!
They reattached it, and now it looks all funky. However, they reattached those fingers according to the way he holds a baseball.
"I guess you could say [my hand] was built for baseball now."
Dude has a bionic hand!
Holy freaking crap. Koyie Hill is kind of a badass now.
Check out the whole story here.
Monday, September 1, 2008
Thursday, August 28, 2008
Preseason Week 4: Bears @ Browns
We'll probably mix it up with some Cubs talk tonight, just cause this Bears game is going to be unbearably (pun intended) boring by the end of the first quarter, if not much sooner.
Friday, August 22, 2008
Thursday, August 21, 2008
Tuesday, August 19, 2008
Oh... My... God...
I just realized something. This is great news. I can't believe I didn't see this sooner.
Coincidence? I THINK NOT!
SUPERBEARS! SUPERBOWL! SUPERBEARS! SUPERBOWL! SUPERBEARS! SUPERBOWL!
YES! DA COACH AND DA QUARTERBACK ONE IN DA SAME!!! mmmBEARSSSSSSSSS!!!!!
Coincidence? I THINK NOT!
SUPERBEARS! SUPERBOWL! SUPERBEARS! SUPERBOWL! SUPERBEARS! SUPERBOWL!
YES! DA COACH AND DA QUARTERBACK ONE IN DA SAME!!! mmmBEARSSSSSSSSS!!!!!
So incredibly delicious
Is superior to
In every single way possible.
And that's the end of that chapter.
Monday, August 18, 2008
HOORAY WE HAVE A STARTING QUARTERBACK!!!
The Chicago Bears have finally named a starting quarterback. Kyle Orton.
Bears fans rejoice, for your quarterback is not named Rex Grossman.
This is going to be a long season.
Oh and for the record, Rex Grossman will start for this team sometime this season. A 600 pound boulder would get concussed whilegetting sacked playing behind this abysmal makeshift offensive line.
Who is excited for this year's Bears season?!?!!! Woooooo!!!!
*Yawn*
Bears fans rejoice, for your quarterback is not named Rex Grossman.
This is going to be a long season.
Oh and for the record, Rex Grossman will start for this team sometime this season. A 600 pound boulder would get concussed while
Who is excited for this year's Bears season?!?!!! Woooooo!!!!
*Yawn*
Saturday, August 16, 2008
Chicago Bears Dead Blog
Grossman bad, Orton bad, O line awful, defense not terrible, Hanie in with the 2nd string, bad bad bad bad.
Listen to me now, believe me later, this team blows. Bad bad bad smelly old dunk tired weird and bad.
Listen to me now, believe me later, this team blows. Bad bad bad smelly old dunk tired weird and bad.
Wednesday, August 13, 2008
Monday, August 11, 2008
Barack Rolled
Look, I'm not sure who I'm voting for yet (I'll probably just vote for Bob Swerski, like I did last election) but this video is the greatest political ad I've ever seen. Ever. I know for a fact that Barack Obama made this video.* I also know for a fact that this is a video that was paid for and endorsed by the People for Barack Obama.**
That being said, I give you Barack Obama.
*Barack Obama did not make this video
**The People for Barack Obama did not pay for or endorse this video.
That being said, I give you Barack Obama.
*Barack Obama did not make this video
**The People for Barack Obama did not pay for or endorse this video.
Sunday, August 10, 2008
Legend of Neil
If you like or have ever played The Legend of Zelda and have 10 minutes to kill, you NEED to check this out. If you haven't/don't, you need to go PLAY The Legend of Zelda and find 10 minutes, seriously.
http://www.effinfunny.com/legend-of-neil
http://www.effinfunny.com/legend-of-neil
Saturday, August 9, 2008
Fuck the Olympics
And fuck you too if you think that's harsh. Fuck you if you think I should care about some Podunk cracker's dream to win the gold in the 78 meter dildo event, or some dirt farmer's son from Eastern Bumfucksland. Fuck you if you get worked up over any of these trumped up back stories that get shoved down your throat to try and obscure the fact that this is anything more than people you don't know playing sports you don't know the rules to from countries you don't give a fuck about you jingoistic, nationalistic, isolationist, slob.
Fuck you advertisers for trying to perpetuate this myth that this somehow means ANYTHING. That a bunch of roided up freaks who would make the late 90s MLB look like an organic hippie commune who have devoted their entire life to being good at some menial task is something I'm just supposed to feign interest in.
Fuck any of you who have ever implied that woman's gymnastics is anything more than overbearing parents that would make your average hockey dad look like an upstanding citizen exploiting underdeveloped and malnourished teenage girls so they live vicariously through their children.
Fuck everyone who talks about the "amateur athlete" as if it's some badge of honor or even a legitimate concept. As if this isn't the most corporate sporting event on the face of the planet. As if anyone but the wealthiest people in the world could afford the kind of training and conditioning it takes to reach this level of competition. As if the rosters of the basketball teams aren't filled with professional athletes. As if ANY of these athletes would be "amateur" if anyone were willing to pay to see them perform.
Fuck NBC for trying to legitimize this horseshit.
And most of all, a big, BIG, FUCK YOU to the IOC, you bloated, elitist, hypocritical, Eurotrash plutocrats. Fuck you for even CONSIDERING giving the Olympic games to China so your corporate overlords could have yet another avenue to hock their wears. That a complete and utter Civil Rights wasteland like China could get the games goes against EVERYTHING the Olympics are purported to stand for.
Fuck you advertisers for trying to perpetuate this myth that this somehow means ANYTHING. That a bunch of roided up freaks who would make the late 90s MLB look like an organic hippie commune who have devoted their entire life to being good at some menial task is something I'm just supposed to feign interest in.
Fuck any of you who have ever implied that woman's gymnastics is anything more than overbearing parents that would make your average hockey dad look like an upstanding citizen exploiting underdeveloped and malnourished teenage girls so they live vicariously through their children.
Fuck everyone who talks about the "amateur athlete" as if it's some badge of honor or even a legitimate concept. As if this isn't the most corporate sporting event on the face of the planet. As if anyone but the wealthiest people in the world could afford the kind of training and conditioning it takes to reach this level of competition. As if the rosters of the basketball teams aren't filled with professional athletes. As if ANY of these athletes would be "amateur" if anyone were willing to pay to see them perform.
Fuck NBC for trying to legitimize this horseshit.
And most of all, a big, BIG, FUCK YOU to the IOC, you bloated, elitist, hypocritical, Eurotrash plutocrats. Fuck you for even CONSIDERING giving the Olympic games to China so your corporate overlords could have yet another avenue to hock their wears. That a complete and utter Civil Rights wasteland like China could get the games goes against EVERYTHING the Olympics are purported to stand for.
Bernie Mac, 1957-2008
Oh Bernie Mac. I've laughed with you, I've laughed at you. I've cheered for you and I've cheered with you. And for a few seconds, I thought you were going to make me cry (Mr. 3000: damn you sentimental ice cream truck story!). A fellow Sox fan has passed today, and for that I hang my hat at half staff.
Christine and I went to the last of the Sox/Cubs games this season (unless they were to meet up in a redline World Series) and you know who was there with us? Bernie Mac. He was there to throw out the first pitch (it was a strike) and to watch his beloved White Sox beat down on their crosstown 'rivals'.
Because I'm a sucker for bad movies, I've enjoyed almost everything Bernie Mac has been in: Mr. 3000, Guess Who, Head of State. I've also enjoyed the good movies: Oceans 11-13, Pride. Hell, I even liked the Bernie Mac Show. However, none of these things compare to his stand-up. I mean, come on, dude was one of the "Original Kings of Comedy."
Bernie Mac, you'll be motherf*&%in' missed, motherf*&%er.
check out Electra's take on this topic
Christine and I went to the last of the Sox/Cubs games this season (unless they were to meet up in a redline World Series) and you know who was there with us? Bernie Mac. He was there to throw out the first pitch (it was a strike) and to watch his beloved White Sox beat down on their crosstown 'rivals'.
Because I'm a sucker for bad movies, I've enjoyed almost everything Bernie Mac has been in: Mr. 3000, Guess Who, Head of State. I've also enjoyed the good movies: Oceans 11-13, Pride. Hell, I even liked the Bernie Mac Show. However, none of these things compare to his stand-up. I mean, come on, dude was one of the "Original Kings of Comedy."
Bernie Mac, you'll be motherf*&%in' missed, motherf*&%er.
check out Electra's take on this topic
Friday, August 8, 2008
Why the Sox acquired Ken Griffey Jr.
I think the most common reaction to the Sox going out and picking up Ken Griffey Jr. right at the trade deadline was "...wuh?" On the surface, I think this was probably the correct reaction. The Sox really don't have a place to play him. Griffey is probably a DH at this point, he had been playing right, and can sorta-kinda-not-really play center field. In center, the Sox have Swisher, Anderson and Dwayne Wise. In right, the Sox have Dye, at 1st, Konerko, DH, Thome.
Playing Griffey means sitting one of Dye, Swisher, Konerko, or Thome. Despite the knee jerk reaction to just sit Konerko, the Sox aren't going to be doing that. The Sox are built to win the world series this year, and they're not going to be doing that without Paul Konerko hitting well, so they've got to play him till he gets out of his funk. Even if you're going to bench Konerko, it'd probably be for Swisher, and you'd put Anderson in center because of his defense.
The reason the Sox got Griffey is that it gives them a decent enough player to play while they sit Jim Thome, either by just playing Griffey at DH, or playing him in right and letting Dye DH for a day or two to get some rest.
Jim Thome has a buyout in his contract that let's the Sox get out of the deal in 2009 for just 3 million dollars. If Thome gets 1100 total plate appearances in 2007 and 2008, however, the option "vest" and the Sox are on the hook for 13 million.
Jim Thome has 958 of the necessary 1100 PA for his option to vest.
That means he needs 142 over the final 49 games of the season
Thome has 422 PA this year in 105 games, an average of 4.02 per game.
At that rate, Thome would amass about 197 PA in 49 games
That's 55 more than he needs for the option to vest...
...however
55 pa at 4.02 per game is 13.68 games.
In other words, If Ken Griffey Junior's presence on the team can "erase" 14 or 15 Jim Thome starts, he'll keep the option from vesting.
Buying Thome out vs paying him his contract saves the team 10 million dollars. (3 million instead of 13.)
Griffey's going to cost the Sox at most 5 million dollars. 2 million for the buyout, and half of whatever was left of his 2008 salary, which totaled 12.5 million for the entire season, so say 3 million (it is almost certainly LESS than 3 million.)
So Griffey's NET "cost" is actually "negative" 5 million dollars.
For Nick Masset and what's-his-face-the-second-baseman, the Sox got 5 million dollars, two months of a future hall of famer who could help propel the team to the playoffs, got a ton of roster flexibility next season, and probably sold a few tickets based on Griffey's star value.
Playing Griffey means sitting one of Dye, Swisher, Konerko, or Thome. Despite the knee jerk reaction to just sit Konerko, the Sox aren't going to be doing that. The Sox are built to win the world series this year, and they're not going to be doing that without Paul Konerko hitting well, so they've got to play him till he gets out of his funk. Even if you're going to bench Konerko, it'd probably be for Swisher, and you'd put Anderson in center because of his defense.
The reason the Sox got Griffey is that it gives them a decent enough player to play while they sit Jim Thome, either by just playing Griffey at DH, or playing him in right and letting Dye DH for a day or two to get some rest.
Jim Thome has a buyout in his contract that let's the Sox get out of the deal in 2009 for just 3 million dollars. If Thome gets 1100 total plate appearances in 2007 and 2008, however, the option "vest" and the Sox are on the hook for 13 million.
Jim Thome has 958 of the necessary 1100 PA for his option to vest.
That means he needs 142 over the final 49 games of the season
Thome has 422 PA this year in 105 games, an average of 4.02 per game.
At that rate, Thome would amass about 197 PA in 49 games
That's 55 more than he needs for the option to vest...
...however
55 pa at 4.02 per game is 13.68 games.
In other words, If Ken Griffey Junior's presence on the team can "erase" 14 or 15 Jim Thome starts, he'll keep the option from vesting.
Buying Thome out vs paying him his contract saves the team 10 million dollars. (3 million instead of 13.)
Griffey's going to cost the Sox at most 5 million dollars. 2 million for the buyout, and half of whatever was left of his 2008 salary, which totaled 12.5 million for the entire season, so say 3 million (it is almost certainly LESS than 3 million.)
So Griffey's NET "cost" is actually "negative" 5 million dollars.
For Nick Masset and what's-his-face-the-second-baseman, the Sox got 5 million dollars, two months of a future hall of famer who could help propel the team to the playoffs, got a ton of roster flexibility next season, and probably sold a few tickets based on Griffey's star value.
Thursday, August 7, 2008
Wednesday, August 6, 2008
The people who work at FoxSports.com
Are a pile of idiots.
The Top 10 Hotheads in Baseball Today
I'll save you the time and spoil the list for you right here. (with my comments of course being italicized)
10) Prince Fielder
"The inspiration for this list, Prince Fielder emerged onto the hothead scene Monday night, when he went after Brewers starting pitcher Manny Parra in the team's dugout. Apparently angry that Parra was going back into Milwaukee's clubhouse rather than watch the team bat, Fielder shoved Parra twice, the second time directly in the face. Teammates immediately came in to separate the two."
He's the inspiraaaation... So one incident automatically puts you in the top ten? That's ridiculous. I don't even think Price Fielder is in the top 50 hot heads in MLB. He is, however, in the top 10 fattest vegetarians in the world.
9) Pedro Martinez
"The diminutive Dominican pitcher has always pitched beyond his size. Never was that more apparent than in the incident with the Yankees when Martinez was still with the Red Sox. Pedro threw up near the head of Yankees then-outfielder Karim Garcia, who took offense to the pitch. Pedro would later deny any intention with the pitch, giving the famous quote, 'Who is Karim Garcia?'"
I thought this was baseball TODAY. Wait, what? Pedro is still pitching? Where? The Mets? Oh damn, I'd be pissed too. But seriously, who is Karim Garcia?
8) Elijah Dukes
"One of baseball's best all-around athletes (he was an all-state linebacker in high school and signed a letter of intent to play at N.C. State), Dukes has made a name for himself due to his off-the-field problems. Among the highlights -- his wife filing a restraining order after he allegedly threatened to kill her; and a 17-year-old accusing him of impregnating her."
Ok, so the only guy on this list who has actually been to jail is 8th on this list. Solid job Fox Sports. Did anyone else just read the part where it says he threatened to kill his wife? There are seven players who have done worse things than that? Oh right, I forgot that the Indians signed Jeffrey Dahmer in 1990.
7) Jeff Kent
"The all-time leading home run hitter among second basemen, Kent is as much known for his temper and poor clubhouse attitude as he is for his power stroke. His tenure with the San Francisco Giants, during which he won the MVP award in 2000, will be most remembered for his infamous shoving match with Barry Bonds in the team's dugout. He was also later accused of being a racist by fellow Top 10 hothead Milton Bradley."
So let me get this straight, Kent is a hot head because he can't get along with Barry Bonds and Milton Bradley? What a horrible person.
6) Kenny Rogers
"The 'Gambler' -- as Kenny Rogers is known -- put all his cards on the table during an ugly incident in 2005. As he walked onto the field to warm up for a game, Rogers shoved two cameramen to the ground. When one of the cameramen continued to film him, Rogers shoved him again, kicking his camera as well. The incident cost Rogers 13 games, $50,000, an assault charge and a civil suit."
This one I completely disagree with. Kenny Rogers has had over 70 hit singles across various genres of music. Wait, not that Kenny Rogers? The pitcher for Detroit? Oh, that guy is f*$%ing crazy.
5) Julian Tavarez
"Tavarez has played for 10 major league teams, and it's no wonder most clubs don't want him around for long. Tavarez has been suspended by Major League Baseball at least five times, and has a rap sheet that includes a 1996 incident in which he knocked over an umpire. He has thrown punches in bench-clearing brawls, tried to kick players during fights and broke two bones in his left hand punching a dugout phone."
Who the hell cares about Julian Tavarez? Answer: No one. Dude's been on three different teams this season. Again, no one cares about Julian Tavarez.
4) Lou Piniella
""Sweet Lou" got his nickname for two reasons: for his sweet swing as a major league hitter, and as a mocking reference to his anything-but-sweet demeanor as a manager. While the man who made kicking dirt on umpires a fashionable thing to do has tempered himself somewhat in recent years, he will still treat Wrigley fans to a classic outburst -- if you catch him on the right day."
Ok, sure, Sweet Lou has gotten tossed a few times in his career, but what about Tony LaRussa, he has more ejections than Lou. Oh yea, and what about Bobby Cox, he has the most ejections as a manager. Most ever. That should make the list right?
3) A.J. Pierzynski
"Pierzynski is the owner of one of baseball's classic hothead moments. In a 2004 spring training game, Pierzynski was hit with a pitch -- in the groin. Pierzynski crumbled to the ground as the team's trainer rushed out to check on him. When the trainer asked, 'How does it feel?' Pierzynski responded, 'Like this!' -- and kneed the trainer in the groin. The trainer also crumbled to the ground. In a 2006 Sports Illustrated survey among major league players, Pierzynski was voted the player most big leaguers would want to see beaned."
AJ is an a$$hole, not a hothead. Those are two totally different things. AJ feeds off of hotheads. He is an agitator; he's THE AJITATOR. Oh my god, I'm a genius. This must be what Hawk feels like when he thinks up an awesome nick name. Besides, I don't think the trainer story is a real story. No trainer has ever come out and said that happened. No one from the Giants have confirmed it, and AJ denies that it's true. Fox Sports doesn't have fact checkers.
2) Milton Bradley
"Of Bradley's numerous run-ins with the crazy side, two stand out above all. In 2007, Bradley suffered a season-ending knee injury while being restrained by his manager during an altercation with an umpire. Bradley accused the umpire of using a profanity towards him. Earlier this season, Bradley tried to go after a Royals TV broadcaster after the announcer said on-air that Bradley had been unable to turn his life around or be accountable for his mistakes. You sure showed him, Milton!"
Milton Bradley is completely bat-poop insane, so I get this one.
1) Ozzie Guillen
"The ever-excitable White Sox skipper is one of the easiest sound bites in baseball. Along with calling A-Rod a 'hypocrite' and former AL batting champ Magglio Ordonez something that cannot be reprinted here, he saved his best for Chicago Sun-Times columnist Jay Mariotti: 'He's a garbage. He's always been a garbage. And he will die a garbage.'"
You know what? I would agree with this, however with the reasons they picked, I'm going to disagree. Ozzie, if anything, is honest. A-Rod is a hypocrite and Jay Mariotti is garbage. Hot, steaming, wet garbage.
There are A LOT of players missing from this list. How about Brett Myers. You know, the pitcher for the Phillies who punched his wife in the face? That probably would have made my list. And what about Carlos Zambrano? I saw that dude try to take off his belt during a bench clearing brawl. Who knows what he was gonna do with that, but what I do know is that it would have been awesome! Michael Barrett is a douche and no one likes him, he would have made my list. Kyle Farnsworth is pretty damn crazy. How about Delmon Young? He threw his bat at an umpire. Um, lets see here, Shawn Chacon choke slammed his GM, Ed Wade, that's a little hotheaded. Isn't Mike Scioscia angry all the time? How about John Gibbons. He chastised Dave Bush before sending him to the minors, then challenged Shea Hillenbrand to a fight, and actually did fight (or at least shove) Ted Lilly. Scott Olsen has gotten into fights with teammates. Oh yea, and last year he got drunk and was tasered by the cops for resisting arrest.
I'm sure there are more.
Crappy job people at Fox Sports.
The Top 10 Hotheads in Baseball Today
I'll save you the time and spoil the list for you right here. (with my comments of course being italicized)
10) Prince Fielder
"The inspiration for this list, Prince Fielder emerged onto the hothead scene Monday night, when he went after Brewers starting pitcher Manny Parra in the team's dugout. Apparently angry that Parra was going back into Milwaukee's clubhouse rather than watch the team bat, Fielder shoved Parra twice, the second time directly in the face. Teammates immediately came in to separate the two."
He's the inspiraaaation... So one incident automatically puts you in the top ten? That's ridiculous. I don't even think Price Fielder is in the top 50 hot heads in MLB. He is, however, in the top 10 fattest vegetarians in the world.
9) Pedro Martinez
"The diminutive Dominican pitcher has always pitched beyond his size. Never was that more apparent than in the incident with the Yankees when Martinez was still with the Red Sox. Pedro threw up near the head of Yankees then-outfielder Karim Garcia, who took offense to the pitch. Pedro would later deny any intention with the pitch, giving the famous quote, 'Who is Karim Garcia?'"
I thought this was baseball TODAY. Wait, what? Pedro is still pitching? Where? The Mets? Oh damn, I'd be pissed too. But seriously, who is Karim Garcia?
8) Elijah Dukes
"One of baseball's best all-around athletes (he was an all-state linebacker in high school and signed a letter of intent to play at N.C. State), Dukes has made a name for himself due to his off-the-field problems. Among the highlights -- his wife filing a restraining order after he allegedly threatened to kill her; and a 17-year-old accusing him of impregnating her."
Ok, so the only guy on this list who has actually been to jail is 8th on this list. Solid job Fox Sports. Did anyone else just read the part where it says he threatened to kill his wife? There are seven players who have done worse things than that? Oh right, I forgot that the Indians signed Jeffrey Dahmer in 1990.
7) Jeff Kent
"The all-time leading home run hitter among second basemen, Kent is as much known for his temper and poor clubhouse attitude as he is for his power stroke. His tenure with the San Francisco Giants, during which he won the MVP award in 2000, will be most remembered for his infamous shoving match with Barry Bonds in the team's dugout. He was also later accused of being a racist by fellow Top 10 hothead Milton Bradley."
So let me get this straight, Kent is a hot head because he can't get along with Barry Bonds and Milton Bradley? What a horrible person.
6) Kenny Rogers
"The 'Gambler' -- as Kenny Rogers is known -- put all his cards on the table during an ugly incident in 2005. As he walked onto the field to warm up for a game, Rogers shoved two cameramen to the ground. When one of the cameramen continued to film him, Rogers shoved him again, kicking his camera as well. The incident cost Rogers 13 games, $50,000, an assault charge and a civil suit."
This one I completely disagree with. Kenny Rogers has had over 70 hit singles across various genres of music. Wait, not that Kenny Rogers? The pitcher for Detroit? Oh, that guy is f*$%ing crazy.
5) Julian Tavarez
"Tavarez has played for 10 major league teams, and it's no wonder most clubs don't want him around for long. Tavarez has been suspended by Major League Baseball at least five times, and has a rap sheet that includes a 1996 incident in which he knocked over an umpire. He has thrown punches in bench-clearing brawls, tried to kick players during fights and broke two bones in his left hand punching a dugout phone."
Who the hell cares about Julian Tavarez? Answer: No one. Dude's been on three different teams this season. Again, no one cares about Julian Tavarez.
4) Lou Piniella
""Sweet Lou" got his nickname for two reasons: for his sweet swing as a major league hitter, and as a mocking reference to his anything-but-sweet demeanor as a manager. While the man who made kicking dirt on umpires a fashionable thing to do has tempered himself somewhat in recent years, he will still treat Wrigley fans to a classic outburst -- if you catch him on the right day."
Ok, sure, Sweet Lou has gotten tossed a few times in his career, but what about Tony LaRussa, he has more ejections than Lou. Oh yea, and what about Bobby Cox, he has the most ejections as a manager. Most ever. That should make the list right?
3) A.J. Pierzynski
"Pierzynski is the owner of one of baseball's classic hothead moments. In a 2004 spring training game, Pierzynski was hit with a pitch -- in the groin. Pierzynski crumbled to the ground as the team's trainer rushed out to check on him. When the trainer asked, 'How does it feel?' Pierzynski responded, 'Like this!' -- and kneed the trainer in the groin. The trainer also crumbled to the ground. In a 2006 Sports Illustrated survey among major league players, Pierzynski was voted the player most big leaguers would want to see beaned."
AJ is an a$$hole, not a hothead. Those are two totally different things. AJ feeds off of hotheads. He is an agitator; he's THE AJITATOR. Oh my god, I'm a genius. This must be what Hawk feels like when he thinks up an awesome nick name. Besides, I don't think the trainer story is a real story. No trainer has ever come out and said that happened. No one from the Giants have confirmed it, and AJ denies that it's true. Fox Sports doesn't have fact checkers.
2) Milton Bradley
"Of Bradley's numerous run-ins with the crazy side, two stand out above all. In 2007, Bradley suffered a season-ending knee injury while being restrained by his manager during an altercation with an umpire. Bradley accused the umpire of using a profanity towards him. Earlier this season, Bradley tried to go after a Royals TV broadcaster after the announcer said on-air that Bradley had been unable to turn his life around or be accountable for his mistakes. You sure showed him, Milton!"
Milton Bradley is completely bat-poop insane, so I get this one.
1) Ozzie Guillen
"The ever-excitable White Sox skipper is one of the easiest sound bites in baseball. Along with calling A-Rod a 'hypocrite' and former AL batting champ Magglio Ordonez something that cannot be reprinted here, he saved his best for Chicago Sun-Times columnist Jay Mariotti: 'He's a garbage. He's always been a garbage. And he will die a garbage.'"
You know what? I would agree with this, however with the reasons they picked, I'm going to disagree. Ozzie, if anything, is honest. A-Rod is a hypocrite and Jay Mariotti is garbage. Hot, steaming, wet garbage.
There are A LOT of players missing from this list. How about Brett Myers. You know, the pitcher for the Phillies who punched his wife in the face? That probably would have made my list. And what about Carlos Zambrano? I saw that dude try to take off his belt during a bench clearing brawl. Who knows what he was gonna do with that, but what I do know is that it would have been awesome! Michael Barrett is a douche and no one likes him, he would have made my list. Kyle Farnsworth is pretty damn crazy. How about Delmon Young? He threw his bat at an umpire. Um, lets see here, Shawn Chacon choke slammed his GM, Ed Wade, that's a little hotheaded. Isn't Mike Scioscia angry all the time? How about John Gibbons. He chastised Dave Bush before sending him to the minors, then challenged Shea Hillenbrand to a fight, and actually did fight (or at least shove) Ted Lilly. Scott Olsen has gotten into fights with teammates. Oh yea, and last year he got drunk and was tasered by the cops for resisting arrest.
I'm sure there are more.
Crappy job people at Fox Sports.
Tuesday, August 5, 2008
Gogol Bordello Lolla After Show
Unlike The Awesome Sauce I was unable to attend the Lollapalooza festivities this weekend...
Ok that's a lie, you see, Lolla, despite the wonderful music, means giant masses of humanity, combined with excessive heat, two things I really despise, so I chose not to go, but I'm going to full admit that I kinda regret that now. Having seen Rage's show on Saturday, TAS is cooler than I could ever hope to be. It was one of those once in a lifetime experiences and I wasn't there for it. I could walk on the moon, cure cancer, make a 3 pointer to win the NBA title, never again slam my head on the skylight in TAS's apartment AND beat John William's Sudoku times in the redeye for a month straight and I'd still NEVER be able to reach the same level of coolness as those who saw rage, like TAS.
I DID however see Gogol Bordello play at The Metro on friday night just a few hours after they played Lolla, and that was pretty special in its own right.
Doors for the show were at 10 pm, the openers, VHS or Beta (the most average Electronica act EVER) went on at 11, and Gogol didn't take the stage till a few minutes after midnight.
Gogol's one of those bands that you can't really explain to anyone. "Gypsy Punk" is what they dub it, I usually tell people to imagine Flogging Molly, but take away all the Celtic influence and replace it with a Gypsy influence, and if you can't really hear Gypsy music in your head, just think Fiddler on the Roof minus the roof part.
^ that's probably the best Gogol video on youtube, as far as conveying what it actually feels like at a show.
They played pretty much everything you'd want to hear: Wanderlust King, 60 revolutions, Not A Crime, Start Wearin Purple, Think Locally, Fuck Globally, American Wedding, Mishto, Never Young and a handful of others in the main set. The encore consisted of Hutz solo for the first part of Alcohol with the band slowly coming back on stage and finishing the song with him, transitioning into Immigrant Punk, and then an absolutely insane room shattering, 20 minute rendition of Baro Foro/Undestructable.
This was the 5th Gogol show I've been to, and the last three had each been awesome, but less amazing than the previous show, none better than when they opened for Flogging Molly. This time, however, I can say with confidence that this was the best Gogol show I've ever been to. I was disappointed at the lack of drum surfing, and I'd really like to hear them play Though The Roof N' Underground again, but neither really mattered this time, the energy was just that amazing.
Maybe it was cause I was closer, maybe I was just that into it, maybe being a 21 and over show helped, maybe the band was just on a high after playing Lolla, but this show just felt more intense than usual. It was an invigorating experience, and I cannot wait to see them again.
Ok that's a lie, you see, Lolla, despite the wonderful music, means giant masses of humanity, combined with excessive heat, two things I really despise, so I chose not to go, but I'm going to full admit that I kinda regret that now. Having seen Rage's show on Saturday, TAS is cooler than I could ever hope to be. It was one of those once in a lifetime experiences and I wasn't there for it. I could walk on the moon, cure cancer, make a 3 pointer to win the NBA title, never again slam my head on the skylight in TAS's apartment AND beat John William's Sudoku times in the redeye for a month straight and I'd still NEVER be able to reach the same level of coolness as those who saw rage, like TAS.
I DID however see Gogol Bordello play at The Metro on friday night just a few hours after they played Lolla, and that was pretty special in its own right.
Doors for the show were at 10 pm, the openers, VHS or Beta (the most average Electronica act EVER) went on at 11, and Gogol didn't take the stage till a few minutes after midnight.
Gogol's one of those bands that you can't really explain to anyone. "Gypsy Punk" is what they dub it, I usually tell people to imagine Flogging Molly, but take away all the Celtic influence and replace it with a Gypsy influence, and if you can't really hear Gypsy music in your head, just think Fiddler on the Roof minus the roof part.
^ that's probably the best Gogol video on youtube, as far as conveying what it actually feels like at a show.
They played pretty much everything you'd want to hear: Wanderlust King, 60 revolutions, Not A Crime, Start Wearin Purple, Think Locally, Fuck Globally, American Wedding, Mishto, Never Young and a handful of others in the main set. The encore consisted of Hutz solo for the first part of Alcohol with the band slowly coming back on stage and finishing the song with him, transitioning into Immigrant Punk, and then an absolutely insane room shattering, 20 minute rendition of Baro Foro/Undestructable.
This was the 5th Gogol show I've been to, and the last three had each been awesome, but less amazing than the previous show, none better than when they opened for Flogging Molly. This time, however, I can say with confidence that this was the best Gogol show I've ever been to. I was disappointed at the lack of drum surfing, and I'd really like to hear them play Though The Roof N' Underground again, but neither really mattered this time, the energy was just that amazing.
Maybe it was cause I was closer, maybe I was just that into it, maybe being a 21 and over show helped, maybe the band was just on a high after playing Lolla, but this show just felt more intense than usual. It was an invigorating experience, and I cannot wait to see them again.
Monday, August 4, 2008
Ken "Hawk" Harrelson
Here is an article I recently found on the Chicago Sun Times website. Its from a series of articles entitled 'This Much I Know.' Now I use the term 'article' loosely, because really these are less like articles and more like a bunch of statements put together. Almost like an interview, except they only printed the answers.
So without further adieu - Ken "Hawk" Harrelson
(my comments will be italicized)
I grew up listening to Harry Caray every night before bed in Savannah, Ga. He was on KMOX, the only station we could get baseball games. I'd listen to Harry and Joe Buck and fight off mosquitoes because we had big holes in our screens.
Of course he had big holes in his screens. Hawk was poor when he grew up. Did you know that he had to walk 13 miles to school, uphill, in the snow...wait, Savannah, Ga? Ok, so there wasn't any snow, but it was 16 miles.
Hahahahaha, of course he called Tommy Bolt "Thunder Bolt." Classic Hawk!
I am 100% sure that you've said "This ball game is ovaah" after a loss. Oh wait, maybe you say "This ball game is over." My Bad. Very different.
Look I love The Hawk, but he's ridiculous, and so was this article. Good job Sun-Times. I'm excited for the Ken 'Hawk' Harrelson vs. Sweet Lou Pinella, that's gonna be a good ol fashion slobber knocker. Sinch it up and hunker down.
So without further adieu - Ken "Hawk" Harrelson
(my comments will be italicized)
Ken "Hawk" Harrelson
THIS MUCH I KNOW | 66 | WHITE SOX BROADCASTER
First off, I could have sworn Hawk was like 85. Or maybe even older than baseball itself. But fine, if they say 66, I believe them.I grew up listening to Harry Caray every night before bed in Savannah, Ga. He was on KMOX, the only station we could get baseball games. I'd listen to Harry and Joe Buck and fight off mosquitoes because we had big holes in our screens.
Of course he had big holes in his screens. Hawk was poor when he grew up. Did you know that he had to walk 13 miles to school, uphill, in the snow...wait, Savannah, Ga? Ok, so there wasn't any snow, but it was 16 miles.
In 1971, the Cubs wanted me to come over there and play, but I made up my mind. I wanted to retire and concentrate on playing golf.
Because the Cubbies just aren't worth it, doggummit!
I got to play in the British Open and won some celebrity tournaments. But when I was out there trying to make it in the PGA, I had such a bad temper, I had no chance. I'd go out with 14 clubs in my bag and come back with three or four. You can't beat those guys with three or four clubs.
Hey Hawk, you couldn't beat those guys with all 14 clubs.
Tommy Bolt had the worst temper on the PGA tour, and I broke more clubs than Thunder, I'm sure.
Hahahahaha, of course he called Tommy Bolt "Thunder Bolt." Classic Hawk!
I haven't broken a club in 25 years.
But he has eaten many club sandwiches in 25 years.
The greatest compliment I've ever been paid was by manager Alvin Dark. He said of all the players he's ever managed, the guy who would do anything to win a game more than anybody is Ken Harrelson.
But what would he do for a Klondike bar? This is boring and poorly written, not to mention poorly put together.
Some players don't agree with the idea that fans have the right to boo. Fans do have a right to boo.
I totally agree with him here.
I was the White Sox general manager in 1986. I can tell you being a general manager is the worst job in baseball. No question about it.
What about beer vendors? I bet that job sucks ass. I mean, people yell at you, and all that beer has to be heavy. Oh yea, and you don't make anywhere near what a GM makes. Just a thought.
I've called 4,500 ball games -- at least.
Cool. Congrats? I think?
I was blessed to know Howard Cosell and Curt Gowdy. In separate conversations, they both told me the same thing -- don't ever try to please everybody. And I don't. My detractors? I've been around too long to let it bother me.
Hawk, come on. You really rarely please anyone. Maybe 10% of Sox fans. The other 90% just put up with you. Luckily, I'm in that 10%.
Put it on the boooard . . . Yes! just evolved. I was playing a PGA tournament and birdied a tough par 3. The guy working the scoreboard was reading a book, so I yelled, "Hey, put it on the board." One day at the old ballpark, somebody hit a home run and I said, "You can put it on the boooard . . . Yes." That's where it came from.
He gone! Grab some bench! Can-o-corn. All the phrases from my baseball vernacular are things I said when I played.
I'm kinda surprised he knows what the word 'vernacular' means. Vernacular is definitely not a can-o-corn word.
Can-o-corn is an expression used by old storekeepers 60 years ago. They'd have aprons on and use a hook to pull the can of corn off the shelf and catch it in their aprons. Easy catch.
I've always wanted to know where the hell that came from, and honestly, that was very satisfying to learn.
The Cubs-Sox rivalry is huge. I get goosebumps just thinking about teeing it up.
I disagree. Maybe I don't like Hawk anymore.
Lou Piniella is one of my dear friends. I just want to kick his ass.
OK! Just kidding, I take it back. That is awesome and hilarious.
Piniella probably knows more about hitting than anyone on the planet. He's a hard-nosed son of a b- - - -. He loves to compete. He'd fight ya in a heartbeat.
Does anyone else want to see Hawk fight Lou? That would be awesome. I would totally pay to see that. No question.
Ozzie Guillen is one of the most powerful personalities of any manager I've ever seen. We wouldn't have won this World Series ring without him.
Ozzie is an asshole, but Hawk is right here.
Making it to the World Series in 1967 was the greatest thrill in my sporting life. We lost in seven games.
Up until '05, I never really realized the difference of winning a World Series to losing a World Series. My wife asked me which was better, '67 or '05. I got to tell you, it's '05. The difference is immense.
So wait... There's a difference between winning and losing a World Series? Who knew?
I've been married for 35 years. My wife saved my life.
How? Did she pull you from a burning automobile? Were you on drugs, and she made you choose between her and the drugs? These are the hard hitting questions they forgot to ask.
When you marry a Greek, you don't get much of a say about marriage. I haven't seen a paycheck in 35 years.
Racist.
I am 100% sure that you've said "This ball game is ovaah" after a loss. Oh wait, maybe you say "This ball game is over." My Bad. Very different.
Look I love The Hawk, but he's ridiculous, and so was this article. Good job Sun-Times. I'm excited for the Ken 'Hawk' Harrelson vs. Sweet Lou Pinella, that's gonna be a good ol fashion slobber knocker. Sinch it up and hunker down.
State of the Cubs (7/28 - 8/3)
Monday, July 28th @ Milwaukee W 6-4
Gaudin (W, 7-4), Torres (L, 5-3), Marmol (S, 5)
Tuesday, July 29th @ Milwaukee W 7-1
Zambrano (W, 12-4), Sheets (L, 10-4)
Wednesday, July 30th @ Milwaukee W 7-2
Dempster (W, 12-4), Parra (L, 9-4)
Thursday, July 31st @ Milwaukee W 11-4
Harden (W, 1-1), Bush (L, 5-9)
Friday, August 1st vs Pittsburgh L 3-0
Karstens (W, 1-0), Marquis (L, 6-7), Grabow (S, 1)
Saturday, August 2nd vs Pittsburgh W 5-1
Maholm (L, 7-7), Lilly (W, 11-6)
Sunday, August 3rd vs Pittsburgh W 8-5
Hansen (L, 1-4), Gaudin (BS, W, 8-4), Marmol (S, 6)
Gaudin (W, 7-4), Torres (L, 5-3), Marmol (S, 5)
Tuesday, July 29th @ Milwaukee W 7-1
Zambrano (W, 12-4), Sheets (L, 10-4)
Wednesday, July 30th @ Milwaukee W 7-2
Dempster (W, 12-4), Parra (L, 9-4)
Thursday, July 31st @ Milwaukee W 11-4
Harden (W, 1-1), Bush (L, 5-9)
Friday, August 1st vs Pittsburgh L 3-0
Karstens (W, 1-0), Marquis (L, 6-7), Grabow (S, 1)
Saturday, August 2nd vs Pittsburgh W 5-1
Maholm (L, 7-7), Lilly (W, 11-6)
Sunday, August 3rd vs Pittsburgh W 8-5
Hansen (L, 1-4), Gaudin (BS, W, 8-4), Marmol (S, 6)
Satisfying baseball.
Following Monday's seesaw victory over the Brewers in Milwaukee, in what felt like a playoff game, the Cubs went on to drub the Brewers in the next three by a combined score of 25-7. The Brewers pitching was bad, defense was worse and the bats were stifled by four outstanding performances from Lilly, Zambrano, Dempster, and Harden.
Rich Harden, by the way, in 4 starts as a Cub, is 1-1, he should be 4-0. In 27 1/3rd he's given up a grand total of three runs on three solo homers. He's also struck out 39 while posting a 1.11 ERA and a 0.80 WHIP. Rich Harden is really, really, really good at sports, and when healthy, he's a better pitcher than Carlos Zambrano.
Following Monday's seesaw victory over the Brewers in Milwaukee, in what felt like a playoff game, the Cubs went on to drub the Brewers in the next three by a combined score of 25-7. The Brewers pitching was bad, defense was worse and the bats were stifled by four outstanding performances from Lilly, Zambrano, Dempster, and Harden.
Rich Harden, by the way, in 4 starts as a Cub, is 1-1, he should be 4-0. In 27 1/3rd he's given up a grand total of three runs on three solo homers. He's also struck out 39 while posting a 1.11 ERA and a 0.80 WHIP. Rich Harden is really, really, really good at sports, and when healthy, he's a better pitcher than Carlos Zambrano.
Jason Marquis took the ball on friday and gave the Cubs a quality start, while the bats were shut down by Matt Karstens. The Cubs had the bases loaded in the 4th, and 2 on in the 5th, 6th and 8th and couldn't plate a single run. I don't really go in for the whole "letdown game" concept, but if ever you're allowed one, it'd be in a game in which you're coming off a 4 game series sweep of the team that was tied with you as early as last Sunday morning.
Saturday and Sunday the Cubs took care of business, despite a not so great start on Saturday by Ted Lilly in which he worked out of a few really bad jams and got some really nice breaks. Sunday the Cubs appeared to be crusing, they took Z out to save some wear on his arm, the bullpen kinda shat itself, then, like a big brother who comes across his younger sibling playing with his toys, the Cubs simply said "not for you" and swiped the game back from the Pirates with back to back homers in the bottom of the 8th.
Carlos Marmol was able to get the save. I think I trust him again. Probably... mabye.
Saturday and Sunday the Cubs took care of business, despite a not so great start on Saturday by Ted Lilly in which he worked out of a few really bad jams and got some really nice breaks. Sunday the Cubs appeared to be crusing, they took Z out to save some wear on his arm, the bullpen kinda shat itself, then, like a big brother who comes across his younger sibling playing with his toys, the Cubs simply said "not for you" and swiped the game back from the Pirates with back to back homers in the bottom of the 8th.
Carlos Marmol was able to get the save. I think I trust him again. Probably... mabye.
Good evening, we're Rage Against the Machine from Los Angeles, California
Those were the words spoken immediately before one of the greatest shows I've ever seen in my entire life. It was everything you could have wanted. They played all their hits, people almost died, Zack ranted about politics. I truly pity the people who went to go see Wilco instead of RATM. Somewhere between 60-70 thousand people made the same decision I made night two of Lollapalooza. I wonder if it was the last time they play in the states. I hope not.
The second best show I saw at Lollapalooza? Nine Inch Nails. Trent was great. There was so much going on during that show. All the visuals and technology, it was truly amazing. It wasn't just rock music, it was art.
Radiohead was ok. I appreciate how good they are at what they do, but I don't know/enjoy enough music from them to truly understand how good, or not good, that set was. To me, I liked it, even if it was a little boring.
Lupe Fiasco was really really great. I missed the very beginning of his set, which I'm told was "Kick, Push." I bet it was great, because everything else he did was. There was a choir, a horn section, Matthew Santos; it was solid.Gogol Bordello was....
Gogol Bordello. They're always awesome. And I heard they played a really solid after party at Metro Friday night.
I was late to Saul Williams (I got to see him thank the crowd, and walk off stage). However, Saul can do no wrong, so I'm going to say he was great.Love and Rockets was boring.
I heard part of the Toadies, they sounded better than I thought they would. Glad they played Possum Kingdom, for it is the only Toadies song I know.
The National just sounded like bad screaming, but honestly, I wasn't really paying much attention to it.
Jamie Lidell sounded awesome from the gates, but I didn't actually see him.
I think thats all I've got. Did I mention Rage Against the Machine was there?
Feel the funk blast.
EDIT: Thanks to my baby for getting me tickets, and Lolla lounge passes, and for generally being awesome.
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