Here is an article I recently found on the Chicago Sun Times website. Its from a series of articles entitled 'This Much I Know.' Now I use the term 'article' loosely, because really these are less like articles and more like a bunch of statements put together. Almost like an interview, except they only printed the answers.

So without further adieu - Ken "Hawk" Harrelson

(my comments will be italicized)

Ken "Hawk" Harrelson

THIS MUCH I KNOW | 66 | WHITE SOX BROADCASTER

First off, I could have sworn Hawk was like 85. Or maybe even older than baseball itself. But fine, if they say 66, I believe them.

I grew up listening to Harry Caray every night before bed in Savannah, Ga. He was on KMOX, the only station we could get baseball games. I'd listen to Harry and Joe Buck and fight off mosquitoes because we had big holes in our screens.

Of course he had big holes in his screens. Hawk was poor when he grew up. Did you know that he had to walk 13 miles to school, uphill, in the snow...wait, Savannah, Ga? Ok, so there wasn't any snow, but it was 16 miles.

In 1971, the Cubs wanted me to come over there and play, but I made up my mind. I wanted to retire and concentrate on playing golf.

Because the Cubbies just aren't worth it, doggummit!

I got to play in the British Open and won some celebrity tournaments. But when I was out there trying to make it in the PGA, I had such a bad temper, I had no chance. I'd go out with 14 clubs in my bag and come back with three or four. You can't beat those guys with three or four clubs.

Hey Hawk, you couldn't beat those guys with all 14 clubs.

Tommy Bolt had the worst temper on the PGA tour, and I broke more clubs than Thunder, I'm sure.

Hahahahaha, of course he called Tommy Bolt "Thunder Bolt." Classic Hawk!

I haven't broken a club in 25 years.

But he has eaten many club sandwiches in 25 years.

The greatest compliment I've ever been paid was by manager Alvin Dark. He said of all the players he's ever managed, the guy who would do anything to win a game more than anybody is Ken Harrelson.

But what would he do for a Klondike bar? This is boring and poorly written, not to mention poorly put together.

Some players don't agree with the idea that fans have the right to boo. Fans do have a right to boo.

I totally agree with him here.

I was the White Sox general manager in 1986. I can tell you being a general manager is the worst job in baseball. No question about it.

What about beer vendors? I bet that job sucks ass. I mean, people yell at you, and all that beer has to be heavy. Oh yea, and you don't make anywhere near what a GM makes. Just a thought.

I've called 4,500 ball games -- at least.

Cool. Congrats? I think?

I was blessed to know Howard Cosell and Curt Gowdy. In separate conversations, they both told me the same thing -- don't ever try to please everybody. And I don't. My detractors? I've been around too long to let it bother me.

Hawk, come on. You really rarely please anyone. Maybe 10% of Sox fans. The other 90% just put up with you. Luckily, I'm in that 10%.

Put it on the boooard . . . Yes! just evolved. I was playing a PGA tournament and birdied a tough par 3. The guy working the scoreboard was reading a book, so I yelled, "Hey, put it on the board." One day at the old ballpark, somebody hit a home run and I said, "You can put it on the boooard . . . Yes." That's where it came from.

He gone! Grab some bench! Can-o-corn. All the phrases from my baseball vernacular are things I said when I played.

I'm kinda surprised he knows what the word 'vernacular' means. Vernacular is definitely not a can-o-corn word.

Can-o-corn is an expression used by old storekeepers 60 years ago. They'd have aprons on and use a hook to pull the can of corn off the shelf and catch it in their aprons. Easy catch.

I've always wanted to know where the hell that came from, and honestly, that was very satisfying to learn.

The Cubs-Sox rivalry is huge. I get goosebumps just thinking about teeing it up.

I disagree. Maybe I don't like Hawk anymore.

Lou Piniella is one of my dear friends. I just want to kick his ass.

OK! Just kidding, I take it back. That is awesome and hilarious.

Piniella probably knows more about hitting than anyone on the planet. He's a hard-nosed son of a b- - - -. He loves to compete. He'd fight ya in a heartbeat.

Does anyone else want to see Hawk fight Lou? That would be awesome. I would totally pay to see that. No question.

Ozzie Guillen is one of the most powerful personalities of any manager I've ever seen. We wouldn't have won this World Series ring without him.

Ozzie is an asshole, but Hawk is right here.

Making it to the World Series in 1967 was the greatest thrill in my sporting life. We lost in seven games.

Up until '05, I never really realized the difference of winning a World Series to losing a World Series. My wife asked me which was better, '67 or '05. I got to tell you, it's '05. The difference is immense.

So wait... There's a difference between winning and losing a World Series? Who knew?

I've been married for 35 years. My wife saved my life.

How? Did she pull you from a burning automobile? Were you on drugs, and she made you choose between her and the drugs? These are the hard hitting questions they forgot to ask.

When you marry a Greek, you don't get much of a say about marriage. I haven't seen a paycheck in 35 years.

Racist.

When I say, "This ball game is ovaah," that means we won.

I am 100% sure that you've said "This ball game is ovaah" after a loss. Oh wait, maybe you say "This ball game is over." My Bad. Very different.



Look I love The Hawk, but he's ridiculous, and so was this article. Good job Sun-Times. I'm excited for the Ken 'Hawk' Harrelson vs. Sweet Lou Pinella, that's gonna be a good ol fashion slobber knocker. Sinch it up and hunker down.