The Earth is going to hell.

The flames will rise from the oceans and the land will turn to lava if this happens.

Peavy, Pussies and Grabow

White Sox acquire Jake "the Snake" Peavy. Okay, I made that nickname up, but Jake Peavy is now a member of the White Sox. They gave the Padres Clayton Richard, Aaron Poreda, Dexter Carter, and AdamRussell.

Cubs added two lhp's as the Pirates continue to decide that they don't want their good players anymore. John Grabow and Tom Gorzelanny are now new Cubs. They sent Kevin Hart, Jose Ascanio, and Josh Harrison to Pittsburgh.

Bobby Wade says "It is what it is" in regards to the Urlacher-Cutler situation, then he called Percy Harvin a part of the female anatomy.

Buncha people got traded today in baseball - check it out here.

Another Blackhawks f*** up? Are the fans allowed to 'boo' John McDonough yet?

Tyler Hans-don't-taze-me-brough is injured, which is funny 'cause he's bad.

And last but not least --

HAPPY TRAINGING CAMP DAY!!!

Wayne and Janet Gretzky

I don't really have anything to say about this, but when I showed it to Bellwether, he demanded that I share this picture with all of you. So enjoy --

Buehrle, Fonzy, Pussies and other things

Vikings receiver (and former Bear) Bobby Wade says Brian Urlacher thinks Jay Cutler is a "Pussy." In response to this, Jay Cutler has officially uninvited Bobby Wade to his birthday party and Brian Urlacher is no longer allowed to sit at his lunch table.

Mark Buehrle is really good, but the Sox are still bad.

You can't see Alfonso Soriano when he hits walk off grand slams. He loves John Cena.

Bartolo Colon is bad at baseball and is now on the DL. Brought up a left-hander and I'm assuming they put Clayton Richard back in the rotation.

First Brian Anderson wanted out, and he was given a trade. Now Josh Fields has been beating down Kenny Williams door telling him that he wants out.

The Mariners throw a bunch of players at the Pirates for Ian Snell and Jack Wilson.

Tim Kurkjian talks about the pitch count.

EA released the playlists for Madden 10, NBA 10 and NHL 10.

Cliff Lee is a Phillie now.

Eagles defensive coordinator Jim Johnson dead at 68

One of the most influential coordinators in NFL history. Johnson mentored future NFL coaches and coodrinators Steve Spagnola, John Harbaugh, Ron Rivera, and Leslie Frazier. You can read his obit here and another here

This week in Chicago Sports...

The Cubs open up a four game series vs Houston in Wrigley starting with two decent pitching match-ups. Today is Zambrano vs Wandy Rodriguez and tomorrow the Cubs welcome back Ryan Dempster vs Roy Oswalt.

The White Sox are up in the Metrodome for a three game series vs the Twins. Carlos Quentin will test his foot on the artificial turf and will be in the starting line-up tonight.

Trade deadline is this Friday, still a lot of rumors flying around both teams.

Another thing that happens Friday is.... BEAR-BONAIS. Training camp is here, and so is Jay Cutler. Its about damn time.


Also:

Jay Mariotti adores Mark Buehrle's charm.

Rumors and Rants' Phillips thinks Alphonso Soriano is one of the top three "immovable players" in Major League Baseball.

The Sun Times' Brad Briggs does some Jay Cutler math.

Lisa Olson of AOL Fanhouse thinks Curtis Granderson is a good person, and drops the word 'altruistic' on us.

Here is Fox Sports' really bad NFL Power Rankings.

Baseball and stuff

Ted Lilly on the DL + Matt Holliday is a Cardinal now + rumors of Milton Bradley going to the Tigers = one effed up week for the Cubs. It will be interesting to see if the Cubs add or subtract anything from this team to bulk up for their run at the NL Central. Rumors surrounding the addition of George Sherrill and/or Adam Dunn have been making the rounds. Of those two I would put more money on the Sherrill acquisition, but I doubt either of them happen.

The White Sox have been pretty bad lately. Leaving crap loads of guys on base. Bobby Jenks has blown two big saves in a row. Scott Linebrink is either injured and sucks or is just bad and sucks. Rumors are flying around that team as well. Ozzie has said that he thinks nothing will happen, but I don't think you can ever count out the Sox making a splash while Kenny Williams is GM. Names that have been floating around have been Roy Halladay, Dan Haren, Zack Duke, and Justin Duchscherer, but for some reason I doubt the Sox add anything of substance before the deadline.


With all that being said and with the MLB trade deadline getting ever so closer, I thought I would share these two gems with you guys:

Jerry Crasnick grades nine blockbuster trades in response to the "Roy Halladay Sweepstakes."

Sports Illustrated gives us 25 of the best deadline deals.



Bears training camp is less than six days away...

Perfection!

"Never thought I'd throw a no-hitter, never thought I'd throw a perfect game, never thought I'd hit a home run. Never say never in this game because crazy stuff can happen." - Mark Buehrle

Couldn't have happened to a nicer guy.

Top 100 players in MLB

The other day I posted an article from Sporting News on who, in their opinion, are the top 50 players in MLB. Well here is another one of those, except this one is the top 100 players in MLB according to Joe Posnanski from Sports Illustrated. His top ten:

1. Albert Pujols, 1B, Cardinals

2. Joe Mauer, C, Twins

3. Hanley Ramirez, SS, Marlins

4. Zack Greinke, SP, Royals

5. Chase Utley, 2B, Phillies

6. Alex Rodriguez, 3B, Yankees

7. Tim Lincecum, SP, Giants

8. Dan Haren, SP, Diamondbacks

9. Johan Santana, SP, Mets

10. Roy Halladay, SP, Blue Jays

The rest of the list includes two Sox players and two Cubs players: Mark Buehrle at #49, Jermaine Dye at #59, Aramis Ramirez at #80 and Carlos Zambrano at #92.

It was the best of times...

It was the worst of times... News has come out that newly acquired Blackhawk Marian Hossa has been battling a shoulder injury since last season's Stanley Cup Playoffs. Surgery has not been ruled out.

The best offensive lineman on the Bears is?

Roberto Garza apparently. According to KC Joyner of ESPN Roberto Garza scored the highest in his run-blocking metric system.

"The numbers showed that right guard Roberto Garza not only was the Bears' most efficient run-blocker last season, he was one of the best guards in the game, ranking ahead of the three Pro Bowlers whom Joyner has final numbers for: Chris Snee, Leonard Davis and Alan Faneca."

Last year's starting offensive line scored as such:

LT John St. Clair: 79.5
LG Josh Beekman: 85.7
C Olin Kreutz: 81.5
RG Roberto Garza: 88.3
RT John Tait: 84.6

New LT Orlando Pace scored 83.5 with St. Louis last season.

Check out the rest of the article here.

Also - apparently David Haugh knows 10 things about the Bears.

The Top 50 Major League Baseball Players

According to Sporting News has only two Chicago ball-players, both named Carlos: Carlos Quentin at #40 and Carlos Zambrano at #48.

The top ten is as follows:

1. Albert Pujols, 1B, Cardinals

2. Alex Rodriguez, 3B, Yankees

3. Johan Santana, SP, Mets

4. Manny Ramirez, LF, Dodgers

5. Hanley Ramirez, SS, Marlins

6. Chase Utley, 2B, Phillies

7. Roy Halladay, SP, Blue Jays

8. Derek Jeter, SS, Yankees

9. Mariano Rivera, RP, Yankees

10. Chipper Jones, 3B, Braves

Not sure how much of this I agree with. The rest of the list is interesting, it can be found here.

EDIT: Alfonso Soriano is at 27th on this list. I read it eight times and I missed it every single time. Kinda Like Fonzy and curveballs ... HEY-O.

Holy Awesome Meltdown Batman!

In the wake of the Bellwether's comments about Terrell Owens' asperations of becoming an A-list movie star, I thought I would bring this to everyone's attention: SHAQ VS

I will watch this TV show. Mark it.

With any luck, it will be as awesome as this

This could be the start of something awesome...

or terrible, probably terrible, but I can't read this

http://profootballtalk.nbcsports.com/2009/07/19/tos-post-football-career-officially-begins-monday-sort-of/

"If I'm going to really consider doing acting after football, this a great start to let me get my feet wet," [Terrell] Owens said last year in connection with a cameo appearance on a little-known sitcom starting Flavor Flav. "For an actor trying to become an A-lister, I think I'm on the bottom of the pile. I'm a D-lister."

And not think of this:

In which Bellwether Meltdown deals with an unruly Amazon marketplace seller

Prologue: I ordered Mr. Show season 4 from an amazon marketplace seller last week. It was $9 listed as new and sealed. It arrived yesterday. It was not sealed, and there were fingerprints on the discs. It was in good enough condition, so I'm really not about to spend a week or more playing etag with amazon and a seller to correct this, but it's still exceedingly shitty, so I left the seller a one star feedback.

Today I received this email:


-------------- Begin seller message ---------------------

I was sorry to read the feedback you left regarding this order. Amazon strongly encourages buyers to contact seller prior to leaving negative feedback so we may have a chance to address the issue. I apologize for the error.... I sell both new and used items. Your order may have been accidentally switched with another. If you had contacted me, I would have tried to remedy the situation. Please consider removing feedback and contacting seller directly.

-------------- End seller message ------------------------

And this is my response:

In what world governed by any sort of logic is it incumbent upon the buyer to clean up for the sellers mistakes?

Upon shipping you ostensibly had three things in front of you: a listing, a printed packing slip corresponding to said listing, and an item. If you cross check the item with either the listing or the packing slip before you ship it, you would have noticed that the condition of the item in your hands did not match the listing of the item.

Now there's two possible scenarios that could have played out

A) You didn't do this.

If this is the case, you're either lazy or just bad at your job, so kiss my ass for implying that I should reconsider my bad rating

or, far more likely

B) You intentionally listed it wrong, OR you DID check the two and rather than contact me, you thought, "eh, it's $9, he's cheap, he probably won't raise a stink about it, and if he does, I can mark it new again, resell it, and I'm only out my shipping"

Well guess what, I am pretty cheap, but not so cheap to the point that I'm going to spend several days playing email tag, waiting for a return label, driving to ship it back, then waiting for some sort of resolution that may or may not result in me getting my DVDs. Since I'm a miserable, vindictive prick I figure the one star rating is far more frustrating to you than the loss of the $9 which you would have in all likelihood recouped by reselling it with a slightly higher price to compensate for the lost shipping revenue.

I wouldn't even be responding to this email if not for the fact that the implication that I was in any way at fault was incredibly infuriating and frustrating and I find e-browbeating you to be mildly cathartic.

-Your humble servant, Bellwether Meltdown, Knight of the British Empire



Yeah I'm an asshole, the question is, how big of an asshole am I?

Quick 2009 Draft Recap

I think this draft was a very good one for Jerry Angelo & Co. Bravo. Hopefully this all works out for everyone involved. Here's a quick rundown of who the Bears selected in this year's draft.

Notes: Bears traded their second round pick, 49th overall, to the Seahawks for the fifth pick in round four, the 68th overall, and the fourth pick in the fifth, the 105th overall.


Round 3
#4(68) Jarron Gilbert, DT/DE, San Jose St
#35(99) Juaquin Iglesias, WR, Oklahoma
Round 4
#5(105) Henry Melton, DE, Texas
#19(119) D.J. Moore, CB, Vanderbilt
Round 5
#4(140) Johnny Knox, WR, Ab Christian
#18(154) Marcus Freeman, OLB, Ohio St
Round 6
#17(190) Al Afalava, S, Oregon St
Round 7
#37(246) Lance Louis, OG/TE, SDSU
#42(251) Derek Kinder, WR, Pittsburgh

More to come on who these guys are, where they came from and where they fit in tomorrow... or sometime this week... or tomorrow... or Wednesday... definitely by Wednesday.

NFL Mock Draft

AWESOME NFL MOCK DRAFT SAUCE

1. Matthew Stafford, QB, Georgia
This was easy. Stafford signed a 6 year 41.7 million dollar deal on Friday night, so it's safe to say the Lions take him with the first pick.


2. Jason Smith, LT, Baylor
The Rams need help on their offensive line, and Jason Baylor is a good offensive lineman. I think they could/should pick Eugene Monroe here, but I just have a feeling this is the way they will go.

3. Aaron Curry, LB, Wake Forest
Is he the best player in the draft? Defensively, no question. He probably will have the most impact as a rookie this season.


4. Eugene Monroe, LT, Virginia
The Seahawks get lucky here at number four and pick up the best offensive lineman in the draft. If the Rams have taken him at two, the Seahawks probably take Mark Sanchez off the board.

5. B. J. Raji, DT, Boston College
The Browns would have loved to get Aaron Curry with the fifth pick, but they'll have to settle for the best defensive tackle this draft has to offer. However, watch for them to go with Brian Orakpo with this pick instead.

6. Andre Smith, LT, Alabama
Whether this is a good pick or not all depends on attitude. If Andre Smith decides he wants to be a good NFL player and puts in the effort, he will be. If he doesn't commit to the Bengal, look for this to be a bust.


7. Darrius Heyward-Bey, WR, Maryland
This pick is made because the Raiders are dumb. And also because they don't like Michael Crabtree's attitude. And also because the Raiders are dumb. Heyward-Bey is really really fast, but also likes to drop passes. Maybe he gets over that, but then again maybe the Raiders are dumb.

8. Mark Sanchez, QB, USC
The Jets make a trade with the Jaguars here to move up and take the quarterback they so desperately need want. If the Jets don't get this trade done, watch for the Jaguars to take Michael Crabtree or Jeremy Maclin, even if they did just sign Torry Holt.



9. Malcom Jenkins, CB, Ohio State
At this point Michael Crabtree is still the best player on the board, however I think they're focused on upgrading their defense in this draft. Malcom Jenkins is the best DB in the draft, and this draft isn't very deep when it comes to DBs.


10. Michael Crabtree, WR, Texas Tech
And the 49ers strike gold! They get possibly the best offensive player in the draft, and the best wide receiver to come out of the draft since Calvin Johnson.

11. Michael Oher, LT, Mississippi
The Blind Side gets taken here. Bills need offensive line help, and they're hoping the talk about Oher not having great work ethic is just that - talk.

12. Tyson Jackson, DE/LB, LSU
With the first of two first round selections, the Broncos go with the hybrid defensive end. He'll probably end up playing linebacker on that depleted defense.


13. Everette Brown, DE, Florida State
He has a great pass rush but will need to get better at defending the run. The 'Skins will play him on passing downs, he'll have a big impact.



14. Aaron Maybin, DE, Penn State
Everyone loves this kid, but I personally don't see it. I don't see him as an every down defensive end. He's a third down rush specialist... and you can get that in the fifth round, but who knows how this works out.




15. Vontae Davis, CB, Illinois
This, to me, is one of those high risk-high reward situations. Vontae Davis is a work-out fiend. I think he ends up being a average-to-good cornerback with the potential to be great.



16. Knowshon Moreno, RB, Georgia
In San Diego's search for 'the next LT,' they choose Knowshon Moreno. He's the best running back in this draft. Solid pick.


17. Jeremy Maclin, WR, Mizzou
The Jags, using the pick they acquired from the Jets, get someone to put on the other side of Torry Holt. He'll battle Northcutt for the second receiver spot.


18. Rey Maualuga, LB, USC
With the Broncos getting another first round pick in their trade with the Chicago Bears, many would think that they would select a QB here. I think Josh McDaniels is too proud. He'll continue to upgrade the defense here with Maualuga.


19. Josh Freeman, QB, Kansas State
Having lost out in the Matt Cassel and the Jay Cutler sweepstakes, the Bucs go with a QB here, although I wouldn't be shocked if they went DT and Peria Jerry either.


20. Brian Orakpo, DE/LB, Texas
The Lions get their QB of the future and the best pure pass rusher in the draft all in the same round. Bravo, winless wonders.


21. Brandon Pettigrew, TE, Oklahoma State
With LJ Smith gone, the Eagles have to add some offensive help for McNabb. Pettigrew can come in and immediately upgrade them at the tight end position.



22. Percy Harvin, WR, Florida
The Vikings go with the biggest high risk-high reward player in this year's draft. They either get a good receiver or a good return man here. The former means it's successful, the latter means this pick was a bust.


23. Brian Cushing, LB, USC
The Patriots get exactly what they want here - a pass rushing outside linebacker. Cushing will come into this league ready to play that position and could learn to be a more well rounded linebacker in the future.

24. Clay Matthews, LB, USC
The Falcons get the third USC linebacker with the 24th selection. He's not as good as Mauagula or Cushing, but he'll probably end up being a decent linebacker.



25. Hakeem Nicks, WR, North Carolina
Dolphins get a weapon here for Chad Pennington. This selection will really solidify the Dolphins' position as a potent offense next season.



26. Chris Wells, RB, Ohio State
After debating with myself for a while on whether the Ravens go offense or defense here, I, for some reason, decide on offense and Beanie. If they don't go with Beanie here they probably draft James Laurinaitis.

27. James Laurinaitis, LB, Ohio State
The Colts take the best defensive player available on the board. They get a real Road Warrior here... a real Animal.



28. Robert Ayers, LB, Tennessee
The Bills, with the 28th pick, take the sixth linebacker in this draft. I didn't think six would go, but Ayers has really flown up the charts as of late.


29. Kenny Britt, WR, Rutgers
After the Giants fail to get Anquan Boldin, they'll draft a big, physical wide out. Kenny Britt is just that: he has unsure hands, but he will give you 100% everytime out there.


30. Alphonso Smith, CB, Wake Forest
The Titans add another nice piece to that already stellar defense. Smith is probably one of the last of the good cornerbacks left in this draft (DJ Moore being another).

31. Larry English, DE, Northern Illinois
I think Larry English will be a bust. Fortunately for Larry English, I don't work for the Cardinals.

32. Peria Jerry, DT, Mississippi
Pittsburgh takes a defensive tackle here. I'm not really sure they need one, but hey, why not?




That's my first round projection. My prediction for the Bears is wide receiver Mohammed Massaquoi out of Georgia. He's a pretty big and physical wide out with decent hands who needs some polishing, but he could turn into a solid receiver for years to come.

To see Bellweather's Mock Draft - Check this out.

Opening Week

I was going to write a post today talking about the opening week of baseball. How the Cubs look good and how the White Sox look, well, not so good. How Dewayne Wise should not be in the majors, let alone leading off for the White Sox. How Alfonso Soriano looks great, no matter where in the line up he's hitting. However, after hearing today's news, all of these ideas feel oddly vacant. The escape of sports lost some of its luster today. Life is short, and its all we have. I'm gonna take some time today and reflect on what sports has done for me in helping me share great moments with the people that I love. No matter what team it is I happen to be rooting for, I'm sure I have a memory or ten of that team creating a sincere moment for me to share with family and friends. Today I'm going to remember what it is exactly that I'm rooting for and what truly makes me a fan.

Chicago Bears trade for Jay Cutler

2009 1st and 3rd round picks, 2010 1st round pick, and Kyle Orton for this guy:


Bears also sign seven time pro-bowler and future NFL hall of famer Orlando Pace.

I can break this down six ways from Sunday and I might when I have more time, but there's one point I'd like to make right now:

The Bears have added a franchise quarterback to their team.

Teams with franchise quarterbacks are NEVER bad. This doesn't mean they're great, this doesn't mean they're going to win the Super Bowl. What this means is that given good health, Jay Cutler has put the Bears at the big boys table in the NFL for the next 5-10 years. Outside of Super Bowl 42, today is literally the biggest day in Bears history since Super Bowl 20.

"Stormin" Norman Van Lier 1947-2009: Johnny "Red" Kerr 1932-2009

Funny thing about broadcasters, how they become a part of your life. Johnny Red Kerr and Norm Van Lier will always be synonymous with Chicago Bulls basketball. For years we invited them into our homes as we watched Bulls games on our televisions. Through the highs and lows they were both there with us. From Johnny screaming as Michael Jordan hits a game winning shot to Norm not being able to fathom why players these days don't play as hard as he did. Not only did we lose a coach, a point guard, and broadcasters, but we lost friends, people whose opinion we trusted on a topic that has brought this city so much joy. Johnny Red and Norm, we'll miss your stories, your laughs and your passion for life and the game. Your legacies will last and your absence will leave a void in many Bulls fan's hearts for quite a long time. Thank you for everything you gave us, because we know you gave it all.

"You wake up, put a smile on your face and go out and be the best person you can be that day. That, in my opinion, is what life is about." - Norm Van Lier

"Like us, he hung on every play those seasons we came so close. Like us he almost fell out of his seat celebrating the seasons we won it all. And like us he will never lose faith in the Chicago Bulls. " - Barrack Obama

Chicago Bears Offseason: Safety

Safety

Currently on the roster:
Kevin Payne
Craig Steltz*
Brandon McGowan
Danieal Manning

*rookie

Top safety prospects:
William Moore, FS/SS, Mizzou
Patrick Chung, SS, Oregon
Rashad Johnson, FS, Alabama
Louis Delmas, SS, Western Michigan
Sean Smith, CB/SS, Utah
Emmanuel Cook, FS/SS, South Carolina
Nic Harris, SS, Oklahoma

Top safety free agents:
Jermaine Phillips
Sean Jones
Darren Sharper
Gibril Wilson
Lawyer Milloy
Yeremiah Bell

William Moore was good at Mizzou but I don't think he's the Bears best option at 18. I doubt the Bears have Patrick Chung on their board for the second round, however he is a good athlete. Rashad Johnson is the wild card of this bunch. He could be below average, he could be great. Bears should take a long hard look at him before making up their minds on this position. It'll will be interesting to see what JA does at safety. I think it is imperative for the Bears to add new (good) players to this defense, especially at the safety position. That position cost the Bears a lot last year, even with Mike Brown. I really really don't want to see Craig Steltz playing anything but special teams ever again.

Chicago Bears Offseason: Offensive Line

Offensive Tackle

Currently on the roster:
Chris Williams*


*rookie

Top offensive tackle prospects:
Andre Smith, Alabama
Michael Oher, Ole Miss
Eugene Monroe, Virginia
Jason Smith, Baylor
Eben Britton, Arizona
William Beatty, Connecticut
Phil Loadholt, Oklahoma
Fenuki Tupou, Oregon
Troy Kropog, Tulane
Alex Boone, Ohio State

Top offensive tackle free agents:
Jordan Gross
Marvel Smith
Mark Tauscher
Jon Runyan
Tra Thomas
Marc Colombo
Vernon Carey

Andre Smith, Eugune Moore, Jason Smith - no chance getting them at 18. Michael Oher will be a good player and would look wonderful in orange and blue, however he probably won't be around at 18. Guys that could be around in the second round for the Bears to pick up include Eben Britton, Phil Loadholt and William Beatty. Third round guys include Fenuki Tupou and Troy Kropog. Alex Boone is probably around in the forth round. Now with John Tait's surprise retiremnt the Bears need to draft and/or sign a free agent at this position. However, what will probably end up happening is they resign John St. Claire for a lot more than he's worth, and they draft an offensive tackle late in the draft. Hooray.

Offensive Guard

Currently on the roster:
Roberto Garza
Josh Beekman
Tyler Reed^
Terrence Metcalf
Dan Buenning
Cody Balogh*^

^practice squad

Top offensive guard prospects:
Duke Robinson, Oklahoma
Herman Johnson, LSU
Andy Levitre, Oregon State
Trevor Canfield, Cincy
Anthony Parker, Tennessee
Andy Kemp, Wisconsin

Top offesive guard free agents:
Stacy Andrews
Jahri Evans*
Mike Goff
Chris Kemoeatu
Mark Setterstrom*

*restricted

Unless a team really reaches, none of those prospects are first rounders. That being said, Duke Robinson will probably go early to mid second round, so he's unlikely to be a Bear. I would look for the Bears to select Andy Levitre or Trevor Canfield in the fourth round or Andy Kemp or Anthony Parker in the fifth round. Or the Bears will do nothing and just be happy with Beekman and Garza starting and Terrance Metcalf and Dan Buenning backing up.

The Big Shaqtus Himself

This was the best thing I've seen in sports in a long time.



Shaq playing scrabble comes in a close second though.

Palehose 9

I love Carl Skanberg and I want you to love him too.

Also buy his book - I did.

Chicago Bears Offseason: Wide Receiver

Wide Receiver

Another position that greatly underperformed last season was the wide receiver position. Among the top five leaders in receptions, only one was a wide receiver; only two of the top four were receivers in receiving yards. There is not a number one receiver on this roster, there probably isn't even a number two (one could argue that Devin Hester might turn into a number two, but he's not there yet). If the Bears add a legitimately talented wide receiver (or two) to this team it would greatly upgrade the offense. They already have playmakers at running back and tight end, so adding a down field threat would also increase the output at those two positions. Ron Turner has now come out and said the Bears need an upgrade at this position.

Currently on the roster:
Devin Hester
Marty Booker
Rashied Davis
Brandon Rideau
John Broussard^
Devin Aromashodu
Earl Bennett*
Rudy Burgess*

*rookie
^practice squad

Top wide receiver prospects:
Michael Crabtree, Texas Tech
Jeremy Maclin, Mizzou
Percy Harvin, Florida
Darrius Heyward-Bey, Maryland
Kenny Britt, Rutgers
Hakeem Nicks, UNC
Louis Murphy, Florida
Juaquin Iglesias, Oklahoma

No chance to get Michael Crabtree at 18 and Jeremy Maclin will probably go before 18 as well. Both Percy Harvin and Darrius Heyward-Bey would conceivably be around at 18 for the Bears to pick. I have this feeling that Hakeem Nicks stock is on the rise and fast, but if he's around in the second round he would be a steal there. Kenny Britt, Louis Murphy and Juaquin Iglesias will all be around for the Bears in the second round.

Top free agent wide receivers:
TJ Houshmandzadeh
Antonio Bryant
Bryant Johnson
Devery Henderson
Lance Moore*
Nate Washington
Amani Toomer

*restricted

TJ Houshmandzadeh would be an upgrade over any receiver on the roster. Lance Moore stepped up big time last season and showed he's a good NFL receiver. Both Nate Washington and Devery Henderson are play makers in the way they can stretch the field. Amani Toomer has shown over his 13 year career that he's a good route runner and can stretch the field when need be.

My Take:

TJ Houshmandzadeh is not a number one receiver, but again would be quite a large upgrade over any receiver the Bears currently have. I'm not completely sold on Housh. Lance Moore is a restricted free agent and will most likely end up staying a Saint. Neither Nate Washington nor Devery Henderson are number one receivers, and as long as the Bears aren't pretending they are I don't have a problem with either of them. Amani Toomer will turn 35 next season.

Pass on both Heyward-Bey and Harvin in the first round. If Hakeem Nicks has a great combine, debate taking him at 18. If he's still there in the second round definitely take him there, thats a steal. If not, I like both Kenny Britt and Juaquin Iglesias in round two or even three. Sign a free agent wide out. Basically sign a new receiver AND draft a new receiver.

Fixing the NFL, part 1

To anyone for whom it is not abundantly clear, I love the NFL. Love it.

I will not apologize for this love, but I will never deny what it is, and why I enjoy it. The NFL is the best sport in the world. No sport on earth takes strategy (or macro-strategy) and tactics (or micro-strategy) and marries them so successfully with wanton violence as well as professional football. It truly is the closest analog to war as it was fought before the days of firearms.

For someone who deplores machismo, jingoism, and materialistic tendencies, the NFL is my one capitulation to American excess. Nothing else perfectly capsulizes our culture this well. The NFL is SUVs and Big Macs, gun ownership and tax cuts, fake tits and shitty beer, it is entitlement issues and moral superiority.

The NFL satisfies the blood lust, love of spectacle, and unbridled desire for consumption that the more cultured among us like to keep in check because we realize doing so is necessary to maintain a functioning society. The NFL is the sociological equivalent of tilting your head back, tipping over a can of ReddiWip and spraying whip cream directly into your mouth. It's morally deplorable and undeniably glorious.

It manages to perfectly mix celebrity gossip with a concession towards self-aggrandizing rural superiority and the celebration of puritan attitudes of self denial and the embrace of backbreaking labor for its own sake. From toothless farmers to Madison Avenue socialites, people from every demographic and every walk of life worship in the same place on Sundays in the Fall: in front of our televisions.

The dawn of Sabermetirics has created a plain on which baseball can be enjoyed intellectually, and its perfect symmetry - so perfect that the time it takes a ball thrown from the mound to home and then from home to second varies by only tenths of a second from the time it takes for someone standing six feet off of first base to run and dive into second - makes even the spiritual enjoyment of baseball more than possible.

That such a genuinely genteel and zen like activity could ever be considered a pastime of a culture so obsessed with action and expressiveness speaks either of a culture so warped from what it once was, or of a theory inherently flawed from the outset.

The NFL is America's real pastime. Baseball is too slow, and too pastoral. Baseball is poetic, baseball is less a sport where athletic abilities are celebrated, but rather a game at which those who possess skill, rather than talent are the most successful.

The wistful ruminations of people like Ken Burns, Walt Whitman and George Will have elevated baseball to mythical status. While baseball no doubt deserves this lofty praise, all three of these men have bent over backwards to equate this game with course of the United States. Perhaps it is a reflection of their view of the country rather than their view of the sport that has pushed them so far off the mark. Comparing baseball to America is insulting to both baseball and America, for it truly is football that represents us as a people.

Somehow I love it all. Despite how much I may hate almost every one of the things the NFL stands for individually I cannot help but embrace it on the whole. It is so striking to watch the NFL and see all of society's flaws projected back at you. I fear not of turning into a flower as Narcissus did while I gaze at my own reflection for I know that I turned long ago, and never once have I considered looking back.

Yes, indeed, I love the NFL. Given this unconditional love, it may surprise many to learn that I believe the NFL is utterly broken, but I do, and parity is the culprit.

As we step into the off-season over the next several weeks, I intend to look at what parity means in the NFL, why it exists, and how to fix it by looking at ways to improve the schedule, the draft, and the salary cap.

Chicago Bears Offseason: Defensive End

Defensive End

One position the Bears definitely have a need at is defensive end. Before the Bears played the St. Louis Rams in week 12, Alex Brown and Adewale Ogunleye had combined for 5 sacks the whole season. Through 11 games. 5 sacks. 11 games. 5. Through 11 games. Not cool. At season end the Bears had 28 total sacks, good for 22nd in the NFL, thats not good enough. The Bears need a good pass rush if they want to keep running their cover 2 (which they will continue to run as long as Lovie Smith is there, and he's going to be there for every dollar of that contract). With Rod Marinelli as the new defensive line coach and token Vietnam Vet, I would think they are going to make improving that line a top priority.

Currently on the roster:
Alex Brown
Adewale Ogunleye
Mark Anderson
Ervin Balwin*
Joe Clermond*^

*rookie
^practice squad

Top prospects at defensive end:
Brian Orakpo, Texas
Everette Brown, Florida State
Michael Johnson, Georgia Tech
Aaron Maybin, Penn State
Paul Kruger, Utah
Clint Sintim, Virgina
Tyson Jackson, LSU
Conor Barwin, Cincy

The Bears could conceivably draft Everette Brown, I know Bell loves that idea however I'm not so sure he falls to 18. Michael Johnson will be there at 18. Looks as if Aaron Maybin will go early round two, but Paul Kruger, Clint Sintim, and Tyson Jackson (Clint Sintim and Tyson Jackson are both better suited for a 3-4) would be available for the Bears in the second round. Conor Barwin is probably looking at a third round selection, barring an incredible combine preformance. I heard from a little bird that Mel Kiper's hair believe's the Bears will draft Tyson Jackson with their 18th pick, so there's that.

Top free agents at defensive end:
Terrell Suggs
Julius Peppers
Kevin Carter
Bertrand Berry

I don't know if the Bears are going to go out and try to get Suggs, but who knows. I wouldn't be completely surprised if they try to sign Julius Peppers, but he doesnt want to play in a 4-3 defense. Neither Kevin Carter nor Bertrand Berry are really upgrades over 'Wale or Brown.

My Take:

If the Bears take a defensive end with the 18th pick it should be Everette Brown or Michael Johnson, if its the second round they should take Paul Krueger. Anything after that is a crap shoot until after the combine. Terrell Suggs would be nice, but he comes with a big price tag. The Bears would have to overpay for Julius Peppers to come play in a 4-3.

Take Everette Brown if he's there, if not think hard about taking Michael Johnson or move on to another position and take a defensive end in another round.

The Chicago Bears Offseason

The Bears have a lot of needs. The positions that they need to address through the draft and/or free agency include, but are not limited to the following (in no particular order): defensive end, wide receiver, offensive tackle/guard, safety, linebacker, running back, quarterback, fullback. And let me answer that question for you - yes, that is a lot of needs. The Bears have the 18th pick. Mock drafts on this here thing that I call the interweb seem to think that the Bears are going to select Darrius Heyward-Bey, WR, Maryland. I've also seen a few thinking they're going to go defense and select Michael Johnson, DE, Georgia Tech. But hey, what do mock drafters know? They had the Bears taking Brian Brohm or Jeff Otah last season, Jon Beason or Tony Ugoh in 2007, and Sinorice Moss or Leonard Pope in 2006. Any of those guys Bears? No? Ok then.

Starting tomorrow I'll attempt to go through each need for the Bears, addressing who is available via the draft and free agency. A new position will go up each week. This week it begins with... Defensive End.

Not all that Super, really

I'm fairly certain that Super Bowl XLIII is currently being proclaimed one of the greatest games in NFL history by every outlet that isn't spouting conspiracy theories about how the Cardinals got screwed because the refs didn't review the Warner fumble at the end of the game.

Such notions are utter garbage.

While the game did provide us with two spectacular catches and a very compelling ending, it only did so after well over 45 minutes of exceptionally bad, historically sloppy football.

The better team won, but they sure didn't look like champions. Given so many chances to assert their dominance, the Steelers consistently fell short, starting with their inability to punch it in on the first drive of the game and continuing throughout the fourth quarter while their vaunted number one in the league defense did everything it could to try and give the Cardinals the game.

Both teams did their very best to emulate preseason football throughout the first half, culminating in Kurt Warner's realization that it had been too long since he last made a horrible decision at an extremely important juncture of a game. Warner tried to force a ball into Anquan Boldin's hands, completely forgetting both how the zone blitz works and that he's facing a defense run by the guy that invented said scheme.

That 10-14 point swing lead us into the half where we were subjected to an agonizing performance from some Bruce Springsteen cover band that just happened to feature the actual Bruce Springsteen.

Determined not to make a game of it too quickly, the Cardinals came out with the ball in the second half and were unable to make anything out of their possession. The Steelers took over, marched the ball all the way down to the Arizona four yard line and were unable to stick the dagger in on three plays, settling for a field goal. When an unnecessary roughness penalty took the three points off the board, the Steelers got three more chances to close the deal, and failed again, this time the Cardinals decided that letting the Steelers double-down a second time wasn't a wise idea, and let the Steelers keep their 20-7 lead.

Still not deterred, the Cardinals kept the game on track for historic snoozer status by following up Pittsburgh's nearly nine minute drive by failing to cross midfield and punting the ball back to the Steelers early in the 4th quarter.

After waiting through nearly 50 minutes of game time for the opportunity to strike, the Steelers offensive line wasted no more time, imploding in spectacular fashion on the next drive, handing the ball back to the Cardinals.

And then... something magical happened. The Cardinals remembered that they had the best player on the field, and decided they'd start utilizing Larry Fitzgerald. After perforating the suddenly porous Steelers defense, Warner had the Cardinals at the Steelers one yard line. Warner knew just what to do, and floated a little fade to Larry Fitzgerald, who was covered like a blanket but managed to get three fingers on the football and haul in one of the most amazing catches you will ever see. 20-14 Steelers.

With seven and a half minutes to go, the Steelers took over and their offensive line wasted no time making sure Roethlisberger would not be able to remain upright long enough to keep the ball away from the Cardinals, but the Cardinals didn't seem too interested in doing anything with the ball, electing to punt with less than four minutes remaining, pinning the Steelers at their own one yard line.

Again the vaunted Steelers offensive line sprang into action, nearly allowing Roethlisberger to be sacked for a safety and then unable to open a hole for Willie Parker who barely got the ball out of the endzone.

On third down, the Steelers offensive line would not be denied.

Despite Roethlisberger's best efforts to complete a pass to Santonio Holmes for a first down that almost certainly would have sealed the game for the Steelers, the Steelers O-line rose up in heroic fashion and delivered the saftey they sought when Justin Hartwig was called for holding in the endzone.

The Cardinals took the ball back. On the third play of the drive the Steelers cut off Warner's passes to the photographers on the sidelines by spreading their safeties so wide they left the entire middle of the field wide open to Larry Fitzgerald, who proceeded to burn the Pittsburgh secondary for 64 yards and his second touchdown of the game. It was a nice play by Fitzgeraled, but it could have just as easily been Boldin, Breaston or one of the Bidwells as the Steelers gave themselves zero chance to defend a post route.

It would soon seem, however, that the Cardinals had fallen into the Steelers cunning trap by scoring "too fast." A brutal death spiral in which your offensive efficiency dooms your chance of success by placing your criminally ineffective defense out on the field, thus putting the game into their hands and forcing them to win the game for you.

Not to be outdone, the Steelers offensive line struck once more by committing yet another holding penalty, burying their offense 1st and 20 at their own 12 yard line. Forced to run for his life, Roethlisberger was somehow still able find open receivers and march the Steelers down the field.

Fortunately for the Steelers, their unwillingness to block was completely offset by the Cardinals inability to tackle.

And it's so fitting. The embarrassing abomination that was the 2008 season saw the NFL's unending drive towards parity finally water the league down to such a point that records are essentially meaningless and being more talented guarantees nothing.

This garbage ends with the supposed two best teams each failing at one of the two most important aspects of the game. Blocking and tackling. The last plays of the final game of the season and NEITHER team can play decent fundamental football. The Cardinals sliced through the Steelers offensive line, got hands on Roethlisberger, and couldn't bring him down. Aaron Francisco couldn't keep his feet, and neither team could avoid drawing yellow flags.

And then Santonio Holmes made a catch only slightly less amazing than the one Fitzgerald made on his first touchdown. Yay.

And yeah, I'm pretty sure that was a forward pass and not a fumble, but guess what, the ball hit a Cardinal offensive lineman on the way to the ground. I'm pretty sure it didn't hit a Steelers defender on the way. If that's the case, it would have been illegal touching, since the offensive lineman aren't eligible receivers. Since the offensive penalty would have occurred within the final two minutes of a half, the refs would have had to run 10 seconds off the clock, which would have ended the game anyway.

The Steelers are hardly the worst team to ever win a Super Bowl, even though that's unquestionably the worst offensive line to ever win a Super Bowl, and Ben Roethlisberger -93 rating or not- is easily the worst quarterback to ever win two Super Bowls, which may sound silly, but is no less true.

The Cardinals, for their part, did not live up to the predictions by some that they were the worst team to ever play in a Super Bowl, but they were certainly given a lot of help. Had they capitalized on a little bit more of it they might have won the game.

So yes, it was exciting, and it was fun, but it was terrible football.

Here's hoping for a better 2009.

The worst major-market sports media city in the country

Chicago, of course.

I'd laugh if it weren't so sad.

We live in a town where one of our national football writers not only thinks that Tim Tebow is a first round draft pick at quarterback, he also thinks that Sam Bradford is not only the number one overall pick, he's "a slam-dunk."

We have a local football writer campaigning for Julius Peppers to become a Chicago Bear without ever mentioning Peppers' widely reported desire to play in a 3-4 defense.

We have a national baseball reporter who came up with this.

And lest you think I'm just picking on one paper, our other daily features a quixotic, verbose naval gazer who feels like he's consistently trying and failing to emulate a certain equally insipid national columnist.

That same paper gives us arguably the most shrill, overwrought, indefensible and yet occasionally still fence sitting harpy ever foisted on an unsuspecting populous.

And Jay Mariotti is gone. Say what you will about Jay (Often times wrong, abrasive, an absolute horror to work with) in a town filled with despratly milquetoast, unquestionably daft, and harmless but no less annoying sycophants at least he was relevant.

And yet, in the joke, the farce that is this town's sports media, I've yet to deliver the punch line:

Comcast Sports Net.

Stuck in bed with the stomach flu and up at odd hours I happened upon CSN's "Monsters in the Morning," the reunion of WSCR's former midday duo, Dan Jiggetts and Mike North. I have to admit I enjoyed the Monsters back in the mid-90s, although not yet having reached an age of any real reason may have been a big part of it.

Comcast has managed to bolt some new media onto the show. Text polls, email, etc, but for the most part, North and Jiggetts are doing the exact same show they were doing in 1999. In fact, there's really nothing about this show that couldn't be done on the radio. Maybe somewhere the grand plan is to syndicate this show on the radio somewhere, but I simply cannot give any operation still employing Jen Patterson the credit of explaining away laziness as foresight.

Although Jiggetts and North provided exactly zero compelling thoughts in my hour of sampling, they still manged to be the best show I've ever seen on CSN, and the truth is, I went into the show hoping to like it. I wanted to see something with some potential. Despite my strong dislike towards North and my feelings of utter indifference toward Jiggetts, this city needs more relevant voices. As it stands, the show feels like a complete anachronism.

As the recently fired Dan McNeil noted a few weeks ago in his Sun-Times column, Chicago needs North and Jiggetts to be good. Hell, right now, Chicago could really use Dan McNeil, who will be off the air because of a non-compete until early summer. I didn't really care for his show on WMVP (I greatly prefer the direct competition, WSCR's Boers and Bernstein) but I know many did, and not having McNeil on the air hurts this city.

Chicago's not the only city to suffer this fate. In fact, I'm sure most cities have begun to reach a critical mass of stupid.

It's my belief that bad sports writing/journalism/commentary is primarily the result of laziness, but if the bipeds of the forest are willing to consume bucketfuls of this tripe, then who is really at fault? Although my stridently anti-populist side would like nothing more than to point the finger straight back at the consumer, I know they didn't set the paradigm. Rather, the blame can be laid squarely at the feet of the parasitic, soul sucking, sports marketing firm that still tries to pass itself off as a news outlet and it's benign, wholly ignorant, oppressively bloviating, and downright abhorrent cast of characters

I'd like to think that sports blogs offer some amount of solace. The most compelling sports opinion I've read in the last 5 years have come from amateurs or former amateurs, but as we know, there's still plenty of miserable cretins willing to write, consume and thus propagate uninformed sports opinion on the internet. It's high time sports fans began demanding a better product.