The Awesome Meltdown: Dead Blog

Showing posts with label Dead Blog. Show all posts

Saturday, August 16, 2008

Chicago Bears Dead Blog

Grossman bad, Orton bad, O line awful, defense not terrible, Hanie in with the 2nd string, bad bad bad bad.

Listen to me now, believe me later, this team blows. Bad bad bad smelly old dunk tired weird and bad.

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Bellwether Meltdown fancies himself a writer. He is a 1st generation Hungarian immigrant and descendant of Peter the Great. He is a doting pseudo-intellectual and reclusive drunk. He stands six feet two inches tall and 17th in the line of succession to the title of "Last of the Mohicans." He smells of chrysanthemum and bacon and possesses the rare ability to see through a glass eye. As a child he aspired to be a gynecologist. While not mining uranium in the desert on the outskirts of a ghost town he may or may not be an assistant producer at a sports talk radio station.

The Awesome Sauce is the unloved bastard child of Chicago and Northwest Indiana. He became a circus juggler at the age of 6 and traveled the country performing his dangerous acts for 8 years. When he was kicked out of the circus he had to kill and steal to stay afloat. After spending 6 years in county for stealing and killing he then decided to dedicate his life to sarcasm, mockery, satire and lampoonery. He's given up stealing and killing for the most part, unless it has to do with stupid people or overrated arts schools.

Saturday, August 16, 2008

Chicago Bears Dead Blog

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