Fuck the Olympics

And fuck you too if you think that's harsh. Fuck you if you think I should care about some Podunk cracker's dream to win the gold in the 78 meter dildo event, or some dirt farmer's son from Eastern Bumfucksland. Fuck you if you get worked up over any of these trumped up back stories that get shoved down your throat to try and obscure the fact that this is anything more than people you don't know playing sports you don't know the rules to from countries you don't give a fuck about you jingoistic, nationalistic, isolationist, slob.

Fuck you advertisers for trying to perpetuate this myth that this somehow means ANYTHING. That a bunch of roided up freaks who would make the late 90s MLB look like an organic hippie commune who have devoted their entire life to being good at some menial task is something I'm just supposed to feign interest in.

Fuck any of you who have ever implied that woman's gymnastics is anything more than overbearing parents that would make your average hockey dad look like an upstanding citizen exploiting underdeveloped and malnourished teenage girls so they live vicariously through their children.

Fuck everyone who talks about the "amateur athlete" as if it's some badge of honor or even a legitimate concept. As if this isn't the most corporate sporting event on the face of the planet. As if anyone but the wealthiest people in the world could afford the kind of training and conditioning it takes to reach this level of competition. As if the rosters of the basketball teams aren't filled with professional athletes. As if ANY of these athletes would be "amateur" if anyone were willing to pay to see them perform.

Fuck NBC for trying to legitimize this horseshit.

And most of all, a big, BIG, FUCK YOU to the IOC, you bloated, elitist, hypocritical, Eurotrash plutocrats. Fuck you for even CONSIDERING giving the Olympic games to China so your corporate overlords could have yet another avenue to hock their wears. That a complete and utter Civil Rights wasteland like China could get the games goes against EVERYTHING the Olympics are purported to stand for.