Bellwether's Sports Philosphy, Big Brown

When it comes to sports, I'm a pretty irascible bastard. There's very little I won't hold back on, there's very little I'll hold back on in general, but with sports I take it to another level. I find it silly how far some will go to deify athletes and coaches and I LOVE tearing them down. You can rip on crook politicians and people will line up to echo your words, you can tear into members of the media or the profession in general and there will be no end to the support you receive, an entire industry exists around the building and subsequent breaking of celebrities. For some reason, however, going after pro athletes, especially successful pro athletes, with the rare exception of "public enemy number one" like Vick or to a lesser extent, Bonds turns adult males into screaming toddlers. If you don't believe me, bring up what an egomaniacal prick Jordan was and watch the fireworks, even prefacing the argument with "ignoring what he did on the court" won't garner any more of a reasonable response. In no other aspect of our society are heroes so protected from scrutiny and those who challenge the norm so consistently shunned.

One can go the other way too. Steve Bartman and Bill Buckner both received death threats. The concept "it's only a game" really doesn't seem to resonate with people, that, or they interpret this concept entirely wrong. It's more than a game, but the game aspect of things is treated way too seriously. I think the business aspect of sports and the conditions that effect sports off the field are as or at times more interesting than the games itself. I know a LOT about sports, the people that know me know I know a LOT about sports, but so often I am loathe to talk sports in mixed company. People are generally taken aback by how nonchalant I am when it comes to the one subject I'm more qualified to talk about than any other. Realize, I LOVE sports, I just don't let the on the field outcome bother other aspects of my life. The 2006 Bears meant more to me on so many levels than any other team that I've ever watched, and I wanted them to win the Super Bowl so badly, but 5 minutes after the game was over, I was cool with it. They pissed the damn game away, but it doesn't mean I don't enjoy every other game that season any less.

I'm not saying you're not allowed to enjoy watching an athlete, or you're not allowed to experience emotions of high and low, but for Christ sakes people, take a step back and evaluate the situation for a minute. Athletes may be fun to watch, but get one thing clear THEY DON'T GIVE A FUCK ABOUT YOU. Athletes don't care about fans. Period. They HATE you. Every one of them. Even the one who signed the ball, even the one who shook your hand at the convention, even the guy that waved at you outside the stadium, even the one that said "we couldn't have done this without the 6th/10th/12th man", even the one that your friends sister met in a bar and went home and fucked. Athletes are a marketable commodity and they are more marketable if they're likable. Most pro athletes are too stupid (or uneducated) to realize this on a conscious level, but almost all of them, with the very clear exception of Brian Urlacher, are keenly aware of it on a subconscious level, and agents are very very much aware of this.

I'm not saying there aren't decent guys, I'm not saying they all actively brood with hate, I'm just saying that Fans:Athletes::Beggars:Normal People. Even if you're sympathetic to some bum's cause, and EVEN IF you toss them the occasional buck, you STILL find them pathetic and annoying. Fans ARE Beggers, only instead of begging for spare change, they're begging for a little slice of fame, and the 30 seconds some guy takes to shake your hand is his way of digging for a couple of nickels. Autograph seekers who are in the business of ebaying memorabilia for profit take this analogy one step further.

If you've ever worked in retail, you have contempt for the customer. To a pro athlete, every one of us is a customer. It's not a personal vendetta, it's just a blanket level of contempt that serves to partially insulate you from the rampant stupidity of the public.

Given this, there's literally no reason for fans to see all of the good and ignore all of the bad, but that's exactly what 99% of them do, I don't know why. These guys are no less in the spotlight than anyone else, information is freely available, people either don't seek it, or choose to ignore it. Of course, compounding all of these problems is ESPN, who have built a media empire off of over inflating individuals to the point of insanity. I have no doubt several thesis papers have been composed on answering this very question in sociology classes world wide, but I'm not really concerned with why. I just generally relish the opportunity to be an iconoclastic prick, so commenting on sports is just natural for me.

Josh Hancock was a drunk crackhead womanizer and it was only a matter of time before something bad happened to him, how fortunate that no one else was hurt and that Josh saved everyone the trouble of calling a for a tow. Kirby Puckett once held a gun to his wife's head while she was holding their child, and I think the world is better off without him. Drinks on me the day Bobby Knight dies, ditto Gary Barnett. Leonard Little, Tony LaRussa, Pac Man Jones... the list of guys I who I love to watch fail really doesn't end.

All of this aside, there's one thing I'm above: Rooting against a horse. Sure, Big Brown was getting pumped full of winstrol, but damn it, I wasn't alive to see Affirmed. I want to see a horse win a triple crown. It's not a human, so it's ok for me to look the other way.

But now that Big Brown has lost, all I have to say is:

HAW HAW!

Fuck you, Rick Dutrow, you lying, manipulative, steroid pushing, smug, arrogant son of a bitch.